In the Middle Ages there were plagues.

I watched western in the year 68. Well what to say: filmed not bad, but special effects and does not smell.
But! In one episode, the bandit has a fly on his face. He drives her away, and she sits back.
How did they get rid of the flies? The computer is resting.

And if you behave badly, in the next life you will become a monument, and I will be a bird.
The sign is understood?

The best gift is a gift made to yourself.
With your own hands?
Ohhhh, go you go!

Free medicine could be with us and would be good if the insurance companies that pay all this out of our own pocket did not piss the money and would not be fined for every penny in the card. It came out, for example, the order from insurance-expensive drugs can not be treated. Or - this group of patients can do cheap procedures. And by the figure, that doctors participate in international conferences and know mostly and know how to do everything according to modern methods. Here you have a bandage, gasoline, paracetamol and a kitchen knife - go do the operation. The other thing, of course, is doctors. There are such in every profession. They need to be removed before universities.

The test has arrived. It was late in the evening, his wife had been sleeping. We sat down with him and talked about it.
You don’t have vodka, right? He asked.
There is no vodka, there is alcohol. I answered
Well let it.
I got out of the kitchen box a five-liter canister.
Figase rounded his eyes. Why are you so good?
And when I explained that it was fuel for alcohol, that would make coffee (we have an electric plywood in the new apartment - there is no coffee on it), it almost struck me.

False Stoicists

If there is a washing machine, then there is liquid water. It can already be washed. But if there is any source of fire (gas, fire, and even petroleum), the water can be in any boiler / pot / tea and boiled or at least heated and washed more comfortably. I’m silent about walking baths, it’s clearly the highest math for this case. There would be a desire.

The girl comes and sees the guy cutting grass in the gas
He asks. Why Why? He responds
I’m a commodity, I can’t do without difficulty.
Let us sleep better.
Well, just in the hamac and standing.

The cat came in the dark. and ppc.
Shiva, make it you.
HH: Not to die. He immediately gave the signal.
Draw and eat a man.

of 1977. On the eve of a trip to Minsk to the Museum of the Great Patriotic War, a classy leader told us the mindless fifth grade students about the insidiousness of foreign tourists:

They ask the children if they want sweets, then throw them to the ground, and when the children rush to collect them, they photograph them, and then post these photos in their foreign newspapers. See how badly children live in the Soviet Union, that they even pick up candy from the ground! and horror.

The next day, moving through the halls of the museum, we looked at the sides with fear of provocations, even if, because foreign agents only dream about it. As it turned out, we were afraid not in vain, Seroga returning from the toilet stumbled on a group of tourists and a smiling foreigner, gave him a gum. He was pale and frightened and told us about it.

Did he photograph you?

and no.

Maybe he threw the gum on the floor?

- Yes, no, and how to throw it away if it is without packaging, - took all the suspicions of Serogue and showed us a small orange ball.

Why are the gums round? I asked.

“I heard that they could put poison inside,” said Wolf, the most erudite of us.

Can it be thrown out?

Throw out the chewing! ? to We looked at the wolf as a sick man.

At that time, this delight was available only to those who traveled abroad and the offer to throw out sounded like a sacrament. To imagine the situation, in those times it was not uncommon when one gum was chewed in turn by the children of the whole yard.

- Let's then divide it into three so that the poison dose is not deadly! said the wolf.

You are inventing! There was no poison there, and the uncle looked normal, he advocated his "your" tourist Serge.

Do you know what foreign agents look like? The wolf caught him.

No is! But I think nothing threatens us.

Carefully dividing the ball into three parts, we threw them into our mouths and began to wait until "the poison works" or anything goes wrong. But the time went by and nothing happened, then we made friendship with the jaw and joyfully ran to catch up with our class.

It just happened, watched from the line in the pharmacy.

Applications for middle-aged men:

Do you have a mineral? A woman dies on the street, water is needed. He goes to the pharmacist.

The pharmacist with rounded eyes said, “Look, go quickly, I’ve opened the refrigerator for you.” The man took the water, stood paying, says, "Oh thank you, girl, at the turn of you, and on the street the wife just dies from thirst")

And until the turn began to upset, he flew out of the pharmacy.

A few years have passed and I am a little embarrassed when I remember it. It was August, I just got my daughter to school, and looked at me on Avito Sarrapanchik alone. I called the seller, a cute girl, and in order not to spoil the memory of the phone before meeting her, I wrote her number on paper. It is 8928 77766 by Jean. We met and this paper safely settled in my jeans pocket.

In the evening we had a family trip to the circus. I try to always buy tickets for the first from the arena line and in the middle. This gives the child the opportunity to participate in the show. The clown in one of the rooms in his own manner did any actions, and then jokingly demanded payment for it. And here he runs to me, sprinkled with water, like refreshed, and the palm stretches, give money. I lapped my pockets, touched a piece of paper, and gave it under stormy applause. He joyfully runs to a colleague, they open this paper, oh, this penetrating look of clown eyes))) another clown knocked him on the shoulder so joyfully. And then it comes to me that on the paper...... the phone number and the name of Jeanne.

So I want to say.

Dear Jeanne! If one warm August evening a man called you and presented himself as a clown Clape, believe me, I am not specifically.

The state will fuck you.

///////////////////////////////////////////////

What lies now?

After a small salary, I (I) went to the boss (N) to talk about this.
I: Last month I had a low salary, twenty thousand I am not enough for a month. Can I fix it next month?
N: Yes, I’ll fix it next month.
I... Seriously?
N : Of course. You are not satisfied with the salary of 20,000. Next month I will fix everything and you will be satisfied with a salary of 20,000.

I update a large server infrastructure without downtime, everything goes on as planned, and there is a push-message tagged "Urgency". "Rosetta fell on the Churov-Gerasmenko comet". My first thought is, it’s not me :)

I am standing by the road, smoking, not touching anyone. A man passes by. He suddenly stops and looks into the rubbish. He puts his hand there, gets a barely blurred and completely fresh bouquet of some blue flowers. He scratches, inspects from all sides, recognizes fit, removes excess cellophane and puts it on his hand, as if he had just bought, goes on. It seems to be pleasing to a woman. I’m standing, smoking and I don’t know if it’s lifehack or p... kids.

(Rules for Autopilot Vehicles)

xx: That I depended on the phrase "Autopilots must strictly follow the rules of traffic, as do ordinary drivers."

XX: What do they want? PDD or "like ordinary drivers"?

I, like most adequate people, think that the pension system in Russia is bad.
But I know for sure that if you give this money into the hands of people, it will be necessary to legalize euthanasia, because instead of a binary basket 90% of the population under the age of 50 will live with the thought that they will still have time to accumulate, and the remainder that is no longer to start. And if you set up private funds, then in 20-30 years it will be that "money is not in the funds, but you keep."

During my time alone, I met girls on the Internet. One of them was rewritten. A beautiful student girl in the picture. There seems to be a mutual interest. called several times. And one day she says - here my parents gave me a laptop, and I don't understand the programs. You said that you understand a little in the compass, can you come to help me - the programs needed to install?

I understood the hint. I picked up my drive with the necessary programs (I always keep one for myself or friends to help, periodically updating with the release of new versions). He threw a bottle of vinegar and snacks into the bag and went to serve the lady.

I find a house, go upstairs, call the apartment. He opens the door to me. The same girl. In fact, the girl I saw on the site was just a face. But it, judging by the real image, was processed in Photoshop. The body in front of me was a female hippopotam, with the last month of pregnancy. On this body was thrown an atlas hooded chest from the aircraft. Attention to danger! ! to ! to This was signaled by the bright red color of the halatiki. I was morally stunned when I was grabbed by the hand and dragged into the room with the words - I was waiting for you! (His voice was nice, you can’t say anything about it.)

Decided to die, but not give up, I immediately asked in a business tone - where are the notes?

Noah really was. the new one. With a clean window. Sitting behind him, I pretended to dig into programs. At this time there was a bright red cloud around the thunder, chewing all kinds of shit. After digging five to seven minutes, which seemed to me an eternity, I issued a verdict: here you need to reinstall the screw, and then put the screws, and I did not take the disc with the screw. I quickly pull the disk and go back. At the same time, a plush for tea (the tea appeared on the table while I was digging in the note) I will buy, I blinked to her.

Come back quickly, with a thin voice, the cloud sparked.

I did not return.

There were guests, I saw a beautiful
Three girls take the house together.
The extender is connected to charging their mobile phones:
White Iphone with three lovers and a secretary's job, a gift;
Healthy "bad China" borrowed by a non-debted accountant;
smart Sunka with a shell iron, but in the body is simpler and with protection from water - bought for the money accumulated by the shell-jumping technician
I don’t even know what a girl could describe more accurately.

Is there an unresolved task? Two solutions to the problem:

Russian is vodka and blue isolent.

English is Scottish and Scottish.