bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №84135
 14.07.2013
XXX: I am a wicked man. I play the neighborhood, there is a bunch of all kinds of rules, including to build the universe, you have to collect a lot of money with taxes. Every week I take from each family 1,500 for a sim, 1,000 for a big dog and 500 for cats and small dogs. And yet! I have a childless tax if there are no children at the end of the week and there are hundreds of thousands on the account, then they go to tax plus the basic tax x) A childless family is considered where there is at least one adult grandmother or a married man, but no children x)

Hey, you know, it seems to me that the Russian government is playing a more pumped version of the Sims Inrial O_o.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №84134
 14.07.2013
Wikipedia - a free encyclopedia
Natalia Igorovna
The personal life
His first husband was Pavel Smejan.
The second husband - Zhenya Belousov (from 1 to 10 January 1989).

Interestingly, Zhenka knew at least that he was married to Vettel?! to

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №84133
 14.07.2013
On the photo Mike Tyson and Roy John, comments:
The two legends!
Hey guys, is it a new fashion to write numbers like this? I’ve seen it somewhere before.)

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №84132
 14.07.2013
A quiet night, half empty street. In front of me, a young mother rides a child’s wheelchair. From the wheelchair with a whispering voice: "A... and ab! and Abby! And then it was ".
It was scary...

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №84131
 14.07.2013
> best friend (D) was diagnosed with "paranoid schizophrenia"
The best friend, right? Does anyone other than you and your doctor know about this?

[ + 31 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №84130
 14.07.2013
I’m digging out Rutreker, looking for good Soviet cartoons for the younger.

Filed to: "Rainbow" The 1975 year.
Description (citation): "a multiplication film about two boys friends by the rainbow..."
I remembered this cartoon, but to download or not to download - I do not know anymore.
I wish to burn in hell to all who have destroyed simple good things!

[ + 36 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №84129
 14.07.2013
I decided to go to classmates. I needed a cell number. I decided not to go to classmates.
How did the pirates ask for a cell phone number to confirm my intentions.

[ + 55 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №84128
 14.07.2013
I am a girl, I have been friends with a guy for 10 years. In all this time, we have never even been drunk. At least once a week we see each other, we always spend time together, we know about each other a lot of different shit, we absolutely do not be ashamed of any dumb moments of our lives. I can’t imagine my life without him, he’s always there.
One day he confessed to my love. I did not expect that, but I agreed to start a relationship.
Here are the girls. Know, it’s cool to be with a man who really knows everything about you, and loves, despite all the cockroaches in his head. Stop chasing babies and idiots.
Don’t be afraid, we are normal.
Happiness to all.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №84127
 14.07.2013
Humanity first thought about the reactions of oxidation with oxygen (fire) and rejoiced. Then without the help of oxygen (dust) and swelled. Then before the reactions with the splitting of the nuclear nucleus (nuclear bombardment) and finally broke up. Then before the reactions of the fusion of the nuclei (termonuclear bombardment) and thought.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №84126
 14.07.2013
"...BODY of displaced water is equal to body mass..."Sit down, two.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №84125
 14.07.2013
Here is this:
It is probably no secret for anyone that newlyweds always try to get married in the same numbers 7.07.07, 10.10.10..."

I don’t know how about the rest, but my friend wanted to get married 07.07.07, just to not forget the date of the wedding.

[ + 30 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №84124
 14.07.2013
To this...
— — —
When I communicate with people who demonstrate their atheism, there is always a sense of their hopeless limitation. How much contempt and hatred are they willing to pour out on their neighbors because of their inability to understand and accept that other people may have a different view of the world than their own. ......
by admin.

Remembering the old topic I will wash from here or elsewhere I have seen, I don’t remember, well, it doesn’t matter.
Do you agree that believers are better and more moral than atheists? Well, when they don’t burn anyone on the fire, then yes, I’ll wash and the recent event in Russia only confirms this.
— — —
Guys, judging by the text - not by 5 years of you (although the second obviously did not learn in school yet). Religion, religion, atheism and morality are not related. You can be a deeply religious cattle and a perfectly orderly atheist. It all depends on man. from man.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №84123
 14.07.2013
Fuck, I’m going home today after running. I look at the asphalt, on the back of my bush of may bumping. Well, I think, help the beast. I give him a finger, he slipped onto my palm and struck me down. I’m not going to help the bugs anymore (((

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №84122
 14.07.2013
My grandmother is cooking, wearing wood.
He holds a 20 cm diameter in his hands and says:
I’ll put it in my ass to make you hotter.

Why is your grandmother wearing wood? Whole "Pals" there is everything

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №84121
 14.07.2013
What's in common with perforators, discs and sims?

is correct. One corner is broken.

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №84120
 14.07.2013
References to gasoline:
Category: Friendship 4
Date of purchase: 1982
Dignity: It drinks everything. In general everything.
Powerful, unpretentious to any fuel, works even on a sunlight, if heated on gasoline. A high-performance chain, but subject to

Disadvantages: All other disadvantages. Monstrous weight, rage gasoline consumption of 4-5 liters per hour.
The reducer is running that didn’t do with it... Very unreliable lighting, prone to oil and refusal. (Connected to contact lighting)
Terribly stupid carburetor adjustment system, but after two or three racks you start to feel the sewing and understand where in what weather to spin the enrichment screws
It is understandable that the saw is quite hemorrhoidal, but after three times you do it with your eyes closed.
A large ratio of oil, 1:15, is required, which causes increased smoke intake as from the steam carrier, while after 2-3 hours of work it is desirable to clean the candle.
From this ratio, unburned oil flows out of the bowl, which, however, does not affect anything.
It is recommended to maintain a full tank of fuel, as when the tank is empty, it must be bended to the side so that gasoline proceeds.

[ + 13 - ] Comment quote №84119
 14.07.2013
I rarely get in contact. I have 11 friends today, I’m upset ?

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №84118
 14.07.2013
Lord: Here you won't believe what ass we live in, I have a generator, on a solar, because every winter under the snow the wires are broken, I heat the oven, twenty blat eight kilometers from Moscow, I can't freeze the house, the batteries are bursting, so here's the generator works, there's no, there's a solar ends, on the street minus thirty more, you sit at the oven, cats next to you, the wood shakes and you think what there are four dji, what hub with these intellectual conversations the firewall will be cast for that there or not will come out and how to treat it, and you don't worry about yourself, the most interesting thing about these cats, as if they were overwhelmed to the oven, with tomorrow you lose, thinking about how we're always

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №84117
 14.07.2013
The age.

Before we were afraid to tell anecdotes, now we are afraid to forget them.

[ + 72 - ] Comment quote №84116
 14.07.2013
Moscow - Krasnodar

The late evening.
It was only the second hour of a long-distance journey from Moscow to Krasnodar.
The tired inter-city bus tried to fall asleep quickly and did not think about time, space, or even the toilet. Everyone wanted to die for the next twenty hours, so as not to notice this turbulent, nauseous road at all.
Suddenly, in the middle of the forest, for no apparent reason, the bus began to slow down, pressed to the sidewalk and finally stopped.
The bearded driver came out of the wheel, entered the salon and gently woke the old man sleeping on the front seat.
The old man woke up, turned his head and, seeing the driver in front of him, asked scaredly:
What is? and?
The bearded driver handed his passport to his grandfather and said:
- Well, take, unfortunately, you will have to go out here, I was told that now there will be a check, so I will not take you further. Come, I will open the luggage compartment, take your bags.
The old man shook with a small trembling:
You are what? How is it? We have agreed. Where can I go in the woods with four bags? I told you that in Krasnodar my son will meet me, he will pay for the trip. Here is my passport. Don’t be so crazy, well, I don’t have money, well, that’s what happened with who doesn’t happen.
- Dear, I understand everything, but I will not go further, with all respect, I also have a family, children, I do not want to lose my job because of you. I would have brought you for free, I am not sorry, but this is a matter of control. Come up, don’t delay, I have a schedule.

Some passengers woke up and tried to raise their voices for their grandfather:
You are what? Where will he go? The forest is around, and there is no money. Well, if you are a man, don't touch the old man, they say to you - "the son will meet, pay." The passport is worth 2 thousand. Look at the rain on the street.

Grandfather, almost with tears in his eyes, hardly twisted the engagement ring from his finger and extended to the driver:
Do you have a short passport? Take a wedding ring.

The driver carefully raising the old man by the elbow, replied with a emphasized affectionate voice:
Well what are you? Why do I need your gold? I have a bus, not a lombard. There is a ticket - we go to Krasnodar, no - go out here.
The grandfather completely fell, put on the ring, hid the passport, got out of his pocket two thousand rubles and extended them with a breath to the driver:
The last one, take the blood. Now I will have to starve for a day, and I can’t, I have sugar in my blood.
The driver took his hand with the money and all with the same affectionate voice replied:
Unfortunately, I can’t help with anything, I don’t sell tickets. We had to buy at the bus station in the box office, then we would drive now like everyone else. Let’s go, let’s go, let’s go out, you hold people.

A minute later, the bus had already departed from the nameless side, leaving behind a confused grandfather with four large bags.
The roar of angry passengers did not stop, but only increased.
The driver, in order to block these revolutionary voices of passenger solidarity, took the microphone and the whole cabin was filled with his voice, but here the voice was no longer the former affectionate, but cheerful, almost turning into a scream:
Are you sorry for that old shit? Well, so listen, I will tell you: six months ago, this grandfather, just as today approached me and with tears in his eyes asked to bring him to Krasnodar - "No money, take a passport in bail, and when my son comes to meet me, he will immediately give."
Why not help the old man? I secured my passport and bought a ticket for my blood.
Arrived in Krasnodar. He meets his son, a sergeant of the police. Approaches and says:
Do you have that citizen’s passport?
I owe him two thousand dollars, this is my ticket.
And Ment said:
Give yourself this ticket and give me your passport until I put the handcuffs on you for extortion!
Then, with all of it, I was so struck with a hole on my leg that I barely returned to Moscow.
And today, six months after that incident, this old goat approached me again, apparently not knowing, because I had been without a beard before.
Anyone else is sorry for this poor grandfather?

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