bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 51 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №84234
 16.07.2013
Tuesday July 2013
I fought with the boss today.
PSI: What is it?
Alpha: Yes, I didn’t go to work yesterday, and today I came at twelve. He was very nervous about this and threatened to be fired.
PSY: What about you?
alpha: said that according to the laws of the Russian Federation can not be fired for the passing of a person in official leave :)

[ + 26 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №84233
 16.07.2013
This is:
Facts from History
In the USSR since November 1941 there was a tax on childlessness.
That was 6% of the salary. paid for the childless.
Men from 20 to 50 years old and childless married women from 20
up to 45 years. How is it.
______
Medicine is free and health is better. Only in our office 3 (!) Young women dream of becoming mothers.
How much money has already been spent and will be spent again, you hardly have the slightest idea. One has 3 eco (artificial fertilization) and none has been crowned successful. And all the girls do not drink, do not smoke and lead a healthy lifestyle. I am not sure that when I decide to have children, everything will go without problems.
So somehow, comrades

[ + 27 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №84232
 16.07.2013
On this topic:

Accidentally discovered on a vacation with guitars that the cuplets of Pugachevsky's "Million red roses" remarkably lie in rhythm on the Aryan "Rose Street". and vice versa. The unexpected remixes delivered a lot of loops)

There were so many songs that were translated into other music. Sea fun, especially if the company is good. Much of the head flies out literally the next day, but "I remember a wonderful moment..." on the melody of the song "On the field of tanks grumbled" I still sing frequently :)

[ + 26 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №84231
 16.07.2013
The resource administration.
Please apply the law on the protection of the feelings of believers.
I believe in the law of Archimedes.

[ + 26 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №84230
 16.07.2013
xxx: And here: OE7WTF OE7WTF - so joyfully fucked...
YYY: Friend, what is it all about?
Zzz: This is a radio conversation, baby. A world where you can communicate with each other across the globe without paying a penny for it, because the radio is for everyone!

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №84229
 16.07.2013
XX: I also know a similar story, the teacher in the technair told us.
xxx: grit, comes home, there husband drunk with a friend some. He hears, the husband whispers to a friend: "Look, the shake will cries". She went in, looked at them, smiled, greeted, went out to another room.
xxx = the husband
xxx; again hears, the husband whispers: "Look, the sting will drive us out", and himself loudly: "we will still sit down, drink the water?". She again calmly replied - "no question, rest")
XXX: The Husband
XXX: Then they still sat down, a friend left, and she hanged him.

[ + 23 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №84228
 16.07.2013
My World is Broken – I’ve seen a movie in which Steven Seagal was killed.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №84227
 16.07.2013
Last night, the husband carries a 1.5 month old daughter in his arms, tells her something.
...I will make you an exoskeleton from aluminum tubes like in Stalker...))))

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №84226
 16.07.2013
Fuck when the series is filmed, as an employee of the FBI takes out such a disgusting Dell Latitude 4320 compilation, which has been bleating for 4 years, tries to get it - and the battery went, connects it to the wall with a charge weighing 3kg - starts and waits until the fucking wist loads, and this is 20 minutes. Then he looks sadly at the 2007 outlook and the 8th explorer, who want to boot together, but they don’t. Then the agent gets the token with the numbers, ticks in the VPN - he tries to connect, he still thinks 5 minutes and cheats only afterwards - he can check the mail. This is a series I watched with interest.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №84225
 16.07.2013
They asked a seven-year-old boy which of the girls he liked. I don’t even have sexual maturity! It was quiet.)

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №84224
 16.07.2013
I have two news for you, one is bad and the other is very bad.

What happened?

I changed you...

What fucking thing? And the second?? to

He had a broken condom.

So is it, the fool.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №84223
 16.07.2013
The annoyed:

>>> It doesn’t bother my cavalier to know that I’m potentially preparing for a zombie attack every night.

Well, the devil divides you, where do you live like that, and why do I only get stupid chickens?)))

and ==
men, they are even more than you think, but 90% scary))))) Come, don't be afraid, to the attack of zombies they are ready, but to the attack of the cavalier - not very, you will take a warm;)

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №84222
 16.07.2013
Do you want something special about sex?
YYY: Yes, that you should finally get rid of me!

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №84221
 16.07.2013
I waited a long time until he wrote me a text message so I didn’t reply.)

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №84220
 16.07.2013
I have two news, good and bad. Which to start?
Go with the bad.
They are worth 27,000!

[ + 40 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №84219
 16.07.2013
We were in the courtyard, forever the crocodile rushed so that you will pass, you will park. one day I closed my car so that I could not leave. I am Friday evening. On Saturday morning I was going to go.. tyr-pyr, neighbors from her entrance told me that she and yobir went to all the outdoors.. fucking... called a relative, he came on a bronchoche, we crushed the crush, well I left.. and the sediment remained.. returned home, went to the sex shop, bought a healthy pink fox and glued the mounting foam in the middle of the front glass of this pipe.
I only regret one thing, that I had a M65 phone at the time, which nikhua it was not to record.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №84218
 16.07.2013
The body of a 14-year-old girl was found in Moscow. It was walking on the street, crawling, smelting a cigarette and drinking alcohol.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №84217
 16.07.2013
Today I understood: Edward Snowden is a man of Schrödinger.
It seems like he is in Russia, and as if he is not here...

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №84216
 16.07.2013
z_obri_k: Books for children
If your child has a problem with falling asleep, then some publisher recommends parents a guide on how to calm the child if he falls asleep poorly and sleeps even worse at night. It is called this useful book "Your nightmares are nothing but reality".
Third place: Here we reached the top three. At the third place of the hit-parade is a wonderful edition designed to help parents in the fight against the excess weight of their children. This book about a young boy is currently the best-selling children's book on the soft cover. It’s called “The Boy Who Died Because He Eated Everything.”
2nd place: On the honorable second place another creation of American fairy tales, this time about Egyptian pyramids, Greek mausoleums and Tatar Kurgan. The book is written in an accessible and exciting language and is recommended for children from 5 years of age. In fact, the theme of the story is very fascinating at any age, but to name a book for five-year-olds "Where would you like to be buried?" is overwhelming.
1st place: And, finally, the book - the winner, the holder of the title of "The strangest children's book of all times and peoples" - "The new daddy's wife, whose name is Robert". This wonderful edition is known that its main purpose is to minimize the possible mental trauma of children if one of their parents has entered a same-sex marriage.

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №84215
 16.07.2013
29.11.2010 0:16 eskander: And from here, ladies and gentlemen, the photos of Catherine begin. She prefers to shoot in the modes "Tumblr", "Riding on a ragged bull", "Kaliaka-Malaka" and practices a very interesting technique "How to shoot everything you can, except what you need"... :D

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