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[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №126961
 17.04.2016
We are not animals to hold in our hands. And when you find out that your most native person has changed you, you will understand everything.
If it’s hot, love yourself with a sex shop toy and don’t get into the family. He may be a goat, but you must remain a man.
/////////////////////////////////////////////
So, do you complain to the man (he is a goat) and go out?
Well, or, as in the case of a goat - whoever pulls the rope stronger, will take it away)))

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №126960
 17.04.2016
I sell my Opel for Avito, not very hairy years. Clearly without exchange.
But they regularly send such offers, but the most promising is the exchange for ZIL, the Volga and the Nine at once, the Six and the Copey plus the trailer.
Is that in the minds of these people?? to

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №126959
 17.04.2016
In any case...

In St. Petersburg, at the time the capital and all that, lived an countless number of small officials. They received different ministries and departments inexpensively, practically did not own their own housing, renting apartments and rooms in income houses. However, even in the income house there was a parade staircase and a black staircase. Hence, "go into the parade" and, subsequently, re-think into an independent substantive "parade", applied even to the ignited staircase that goes out for welding.

In Moscow, at the same time, the housing issue was not so acute, the cost of a square meter of land has not yet climbed to such cloudy heights as it is now, and the majority of voters lived in their own houses. Then, as the city grew, instead of building new houses at the hell on the rocks began to adjust to the already existing, but the paths from the street to the house remained, and so that the guest did not accidentally break into the roof, it was necessary to indicate: "House is this, second entrance." Then the streets climbed to the houses, and the word remained.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №126958
 17.04.2016
The Night of Remembrance:

Commentary on Geektimes:

>> black and white CGA porn

> No, well, it is funny, of course. But you need to know the measure. Porn on the disk... for all 720 kilobytes. And the idea of film images on these monitors is very...

Who talked about film and cinema in general? Pornography is also pictures. At 720 KB, yes. Black and White

Those who loaded from above down, slowly and slowly...

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №126957
 17.04.2016
Commentary on Geektimes:

>> black and white CGA porn

> No, well, it is funny, of course. But you need to know the measure. Porn on the disk... for all 720 kilobytes. And the idea of film images on these monitors is very...

Who talked about film and cinema in general? Pornography is also pictures. At 720 KB, yes. The black and white.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №126956
 17.04.2016
I once came to Kiev and because there was nothing to do I went to the cinema in the center. It was Wednesday morning and I was told that there are already 2 people but the session will only take place at 4 o’clock, so I paid for two tickets.

Session: I sat in the darkest row on the couch in 5 minutes a girl and a guy come in, I am not noticed. They start kissing and this is how the whole film continues. The titles begin and I go out and pass by them. They ask, “D-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-

I: Yes...

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №126955
 17.04.2016
The Australian rock band AC/DC has changed vocalist.
Instead of Brian Johnson, whom doctors banned from performing under the threat of hearing loss, in the world tour Rock Or Bust will go ex-songwriter Guns N' Roses Axel Rose.

Yuri Losa was outraged:
Why wasn’t I offered to be a new vocalist?! to
I’t be singing with these idiots anyway, but could I offer it?! to


[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №126954
 17.04.2016
Snow White and the Hunter 2. If because of the mirror the knights killed each other, then the Goblins killed each other, why not give the mirror to the bad guys and just wait?

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №126953
 17.04.2016
From discussion of applications, with artificial intelligence:
A once visited link to a funny gif of rubber dildo can turn your life into a nightmare simply because the smart system will suddenly decide that you are looking for them. And by chance, by clicking on one of the banners about horse sports, you will generally be surprised to find a clutter at home, suspiciously reminiscent of a horse dild, because of this. The system based on your preferences has already driven the courier to the nearest sex shop and kindly purchased a horse dildo. And here comes the grandmother with the children, you have this cloth in your hands. Something went wrong? You just trust the system too much.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №126952
 17.04.2016
On the 20th Street. This is Bats! The spring came unnoticed.
YYY: Most importantly, let’s not later prove that it was actually summer

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №126951
 17.04.2016
I take a bowl of strawberries.
Composition: strawberries, sugar, water + 4 additives of something there. Further: may contain soybeans, shrimp, celery o_o, bones.
At the end of the table of the nutritional value of the slice: 68% sugar, 40% fruit (total 108% not counting water, etc.))...
They don’t even know what they are doing :)

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №126950
 17.04.2016
The story happened to me personally a few years ago.
WOW: It is with these words that I always begin to tell stories in which there are a lot of lies.

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №126949
 17.04.2016
The one that is stronger. I had a friend, took a guy from my wife with a child, married him and was very surprised to find out that she was worth getting pregnant, her husband went to the left. Probably nothing predicted.

[ + 21 - ] [5 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №126948
 17.04.2016
I look at a group on one well-known website, and there everyone cheats on car details.
I read without a pencil: "I sell questions in person", I think: whoever does not trade, already sell questions

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №126947
 17.04.2016
Poor lovers, how heavy is your part.
My wife doesn’t let me marry you.
There is no wife at all.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №126946
 17.04.2016
Bartlby: What about work right away? In short, I hired two slaves who would be in line for the design of the fire lake, and now I hired two more slaves who would pack the lake in tanks.
[19:35] The Great Britain: A artificial lake?
[19:35] Bartlby: Well, this is not a lake, according to the technicians, it is a lake for fire extinguishing at ash
[19:36] Bartlby: what a fool invented to extinguish gsm water is still a mystery for me but fig with him

[ + 22 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №126945
 17.04.2016
At the stop today listened to the dialogue of mother with daughter (2 class, mother about 40+ in view):
You see, if you had studied well, you would have to pray less.
2) Tell me the device of the begemot.
- Feet, head, body, tail, ears...
......
The Behemoth still has herb teeth because he eats grass.
Stars are lighted lamps that can only be seen in the dark.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №126944
 17.04.2016
Due to the moon's gravity, the Earth's rotation is slowing down.
As a result, the length of the day increases by approximately 2 milliseconds in 100 years.
So those who are constantly not sleeping out, or who are forever lacking time for anything - tolerate a little, in just 180 million years the day will be longer by an entire hour!

[ + 29 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №126943
 17.04.2016
I was missing in the shopping center on the bench, waiting for my wife.

One hand controls a bunch of bags, the other eats ice cream.

Two men sat behind my back, apparently waiting for their wives too, and I heard their conversation without beginning and, unfortunately, without end:

... and when?

In this Saturday. Come sure, Valya will prepare everything - everything, it will be fun.

I don’t promise, Andrew, but I will try very hard. What anniversary do you have?

Oh, let me think... sixteen, exactly sixteen, or even seventeen.

It is FIG. This is deadline. What kind of wedding do you have? The wooden, there or the pebble?

Yes, fuck you know, I’m not about that.

Andrew, how did you meet Wally?

A is a funny story. Did I not tell? Listen to:

I went from work, watched, Valka was crying and something there was fighting with a cell phone. Naturally, I didn’t know that she was Valya, and in general, at first she wasn’t special to me... No love at first sight, absolutely. But crying, let me think, I ask, maybe I need help? I asked.

At that moment, she fought forever with her former goat. There was some. She insulted and in hysteria immediately tried to kill him in her phone, well, the babes had their "myths." She didn’t get a niche. And then I was drawing with her help, and she asked me, say you are a man, should better understand the technique.

I, of course, say, "What your question, madam, a couple of stuff, now we will do everything" took the mobile phone in my hands, and I think, "Where am I going?"

I didn’t have my cell phone at the time, I only dreamed. I never held it in my hands before.

I look and so and so, and in the menu really there is nowhere to "delete contact". I reviewed it all, no. Valya stands, waits, praises me, which is said to be good when a man in the technique thinks. Even crying stopped.

There was no way back, I couldn't say, like - fuck him knows, ask someone else who is better "shocking", and I'm just a phone-free miser.

And the time goes by, I am all sweaty, but I pretend that it is necessary - the task is difficult, more difficult than to connect to the Pentagon. In short, I can’t remove it anyway, but I found the item “edit”, and I wandered – instead of the name of that goat I wrote “Andrei”, and instead of his number, I killed my home, like I wanted.

I give the phone back, she is pleased: “Thank you very much! Has it been removed?”

I say, “Of course, I deleted it, and there is no trace, and at the same time I recorded your phone and your name. In any case.”

She opened her eyes and said, “I need you there!” In what case? I did not ask you to write anything! Now go wash it!”

I was, of course, "shifted" from such greed, I sent her away and added, "Well, I don't like it, then wash yourself, the sheep is stupid!"

He turned and went on...



From the neighboring shop a woman’s voice was heard:

“Andrew, let’s go and see, I found you something!

The men behind my back obediently stood up and forever took away from me the end of this wonderful story of great love.



By the author http://storyofgrubas.livejournal.com/

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №126942
 17.04.2016
I am currently at the box office in Gulliver. There is a young couple around 20 years old. She loudly said, “Look, Chupa-chops small 10 rubles! In the past, it cost 10 rubles. Is it like that? Can you imagine what will happen when we have children? A small Chupa-chops will probably be 50 rubles! " And so quietly: “How to live...”

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