bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №84328
 18.07.2013
In general, the absence of sex is the best way to protect. It has only worked once in the entire history of mankind.
YYY: Interesting method you have.
The budget is ;)

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №84327
 18.07.2013
Den Stranger: A paid medical examination to obtain a certificate for a motor school. The psychiatric cabinet. The dialogue:
Have you already paid for the certificate?
and yes.
The intelligence test has already passed.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №84326
 18.07.2013
The mechanic of children's attractions, from the despair that he can't steal anything at work, at night to blewth revolves on the carousel.

[ + 12 - ] Comment quote №84325
 18.07.2013
Did I know about the light? Will it not be long?
Until the age of 16, they cut down trees.
I: And what, they are weak to distinguish the columns with wires from the trees and not to tear them?

[ + 50 - ] Comment quote №84324
 18.07.2013
Hamster: If the programmers were doctors, patients would say to them, for example, "I have a pain in my leg," and they would answer "No, I don't know, I have the same leg, and nothing hurts."

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №84323
 18.07.2013
by C Pikabu:

mefka posted 9 hours ago #
Naturally, it is somehow how it will work, another question is whether it makes sense at all.It is like getting electricity by tapping the electrodes into the potatoes, the kind of effect is, and there is little.

Tathal123 posted 8 hours ago #
Nothing is too little! By the way, all of Belarus is electrified.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №84322
 18.07.2013
Attention, friends and friends! Are you going to Moscow soon? You need to give one small slice.
YYY: Did the eagle bring? = = )

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №84321
 18.07.2013
He: We can’t argue now.
She is :?
My parents exchanged phones.

[ + 15 - ] Comment quote №84320
 18.07.2013
Why shave your cheeks? And then shave there, then the chest, and then the legs? And then "why are all around not men, but p...s? by Fu!
----------------
Heels - so that there is no smell in the transportation, there - so that the girl does not spit her hair after the mine.

[ + 32 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №84319
 18.07.2013
Dialogue with my wife:
I: Do you want to cook black strawberries?
She: No...
Do you want a black snack?
She: Yes

[ + 56 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №84318
 18.07.2013
I am on a term in the army, and since I am good at compass, I periodically help the chief with various nonsense. The own history:
Before charging, a major runs to us, and says that he has a printer hanging and needs to urgently do something about it. I go to him and on the way I think that apparently the wood has slipped or something else. Mindfully I argue that nobody can ever describe the problem normally. I go into the office and there is an oil painting: the printer really hangs in the middle of the window! It turns out that the wind swallowed one of the blinds into a sheet of paper and he started printing right on them and slightly popped up! In order to release him, he had to imprint another 3 pages of the order and then hang this unfortunate blinds in his office on the wall as a souvenir))

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №84317
 18.07.2013
The boy, who passed the EGE badly, could not go to the lawyer, economist and official, and as the last thing, went to the cosmonauts.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №84316
 18.07.2013
A cook of a kindergarten, caught on theft, a cruel head of the house forced to eat a manna meal with pieces.

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №84315
 18.07.2013
Edward Snowden agrees to death penalty in the U.S. after learning how many bureaucratic procedures he needs to go through to get asylum in Russia

[ + 34 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №84314
 18.07.2013
In his youth, he and his friends speculated with black. During the GDR, the Society for the Trade in Vegetables and Fruits paid private individuals 4 marks for a kilogram of berries collected. However, since the trade in berries was supported by state subsidies, the berries were sold at a cheaper retail price - 2 marks. “One of us gave off a kilogram of berries, the other, an hour later, came to the store and bought that kilogram for 2 marks.”

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №84313
 18.07.2013
XXX is Hi! Are you going to joke?
I hope you were wrong in the first letter.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №84312
 18.07.2013
to this
___

The woman got sick with a temperature of 40, the ambulance came, injected and wrapped. The temperature does not fall. Old proven methods are introduced. From a strong alcohol house only a gift bottle of Scottish 5-year-old whisky. There are no nightmakers in our downtown, taxi drivers don't drive vodka - to fear something. The house is rentable, you do not go to the neighbors at 1 at night for vodka.
After suffocating the frog, sticking the teeth, I make the procedure of supporting.
The wife screams:
Do not lick me!! Do not lick!! to

Washing the vinegar has the same effect. Next time, use the gifts. Good health to my wife.)

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №84311
 18.07.2013
The silent woodcutter, while explaining to the boss that he was going to work in such a cold, got hot.

[ + 31 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №84310
 18.07.2013
A friend in the kindergarten was, exchange of experiences, that's all
How do you call your parents at home?
There were whites, rabbits fell, and one girl replied - I'm a vacuum cleaner.
Why do you love cleaning?
The girl shrugged her shoulders.
We went for a walk, she wrote on the closet "Masha Dust ";
Name and surname.

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №84309
 18.07.2013
Alchemist: A friend of mine ordered a business plan, calculated the repayment and everything else.
Alchemist: We will build a waste recycling plant in the city. At the entrance, forgive for the expression of go... at the exit - spirits. Alcohol is so much that you can give every resident of the city a few bottles a day.
Anton: So what then?
Alchemist: Well, I don’t drink anymore.

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna