bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №126419
 05.04.2016
count the number of unrepeatable combinations of numbers from 1 to 8))

I suggested a code-challenge for the interview of the juniors :)
...
One employee is a fool, the other, though the boss, is the same. Factorial as a code-challenge? To get to work? The programmer?? to
The last hope was that this was an April joke.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №126418
 05.04.2016
I recently bought a closet. Furniture makers are creative - the closet is called "Svetlana". They called me for delivery, gave the courier's phone. I wrote it all on paper: Svetlana, 8 916 xxx xxx xxx.
Tonight, my wife had a scandal.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №126417
 05.04.2016
Let’s go back to the row and say:
But they are still taken because there is a total shortage of programmers in the labor market, and the further the more.

Aha Aha
Put the total shortage somewhere else.
We have programmers in the center of the city with guitars standing...

... and select unrepeatable combinations of strings from 1 to 8TM?

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №126416
 05.04.2016
As our saddle burned. We sit discussing the solution of a difficult task in a large project, everything is already on the nerves. Sisadmin looking at all this brain sex says straightforwardly, you just have to write NO ALGORYTHM! So since then, if we can’t find a solution, we just write some algorithm...

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №126415
 05.04.2016
I tell you, she doesn’t know how to cook.
Bendar: The last time I walk out of great need, I explode downward.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №126414
 05.04.2016
On the wall of the room remaining from pre-war times, the poetic café "Bubny", now, fortunately, closed and half turned into ruins, the famous inscription was painted:

A normal man is a friend of nature.
Shame on you, naked people!

The normal summertime was depicted in a hard clay hat with a tie, jacket and trousers with holes.

M. A. Bulgakov
"Tour of the Crimea"

[ + 24 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №126413
 05.04.2016
XXX: I asked a sleeping pill in the pharmacy a day ago, so I was advised afobazole:
Very good, does not cause addiction and drowsiness!

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №126412
 05.04.2016
Not quite of course.

The girlfriend herself works half-time as a babysitter and gets about a hundred euros on her hands. Two of them are very difficult to live on such money, so they take money from a friend's daddy.
It turns out that it is also in their language called "I contained it".

But it’s called " And fuck your dad doesn’t participate?I had such a cavalier. A student on my mother’s neck. So this 120-kilogram buffalo lived with us and not only did not bring money to the house, but also surprised at our outrage to buy him to his mom a expensive vacuum cleaner and other labyrinth. So, dear men, if our parents are willing to provide us, that doesn’t mean they are willing to provide you as well. And that means we supply you with gifted money. I could go to the spa. And I will remind you even if she brings in the house 50%, her dad 50%, and you 0%, then yes, you are supplied, accept.

[ + 28 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №126411
 05.04.2016
Nowadays, it’s not just finding a job. But such "employees" pop up, who put out various vacancies on sites, it is unknown for what purpose. I decided to find a job as a promoter so that it could be combined with studying. It was a good job and I was immediately interested. But not the essence. I call :

Hello, I found your vacancy. Promoters are needed?

How old are you full?

and 19.

We are looking for 20.

Then I decided to do an experiment. I called again, but from another number.

I found your vacancy. Do we need promoters?

How old are you full?

21 year old.

We are looking for 20.

Now I am interested:

I have found a vacancy for a promoter, is there still room?

How old are you full?

and 20.

Call us back that week.

I tried to change my voice twice. Somehow offensive.(I never understood the meaning.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №126410
 05.04.2016
Now they go to the cinema, the cafe, the club, on a date - you see them so comfortable. Your appearance speaks about your self-esteem or the exact lack of it.

Are you stupid? If I walk in uncomfortable shoes, or a black suit in which I’m hot and sweat like a mouse, I have a high self-esteem.
And if I walk in comfortable shoes or in the heat in a light-blown suit, do I have low self-esteem?
You are stupid.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №126409
 05.04.2016
...and in the neighboring basket lies Babayevsky bitter, 200 g, forgotten...
I sit down, drink coffee, eat chocolate. Delicious, but a little embarrassing.

Well, you’re also "forget" next time. Immediately you kill two rabbits: your chocolate will fall to the owner of the forgotten - you are in calculation. He will look like another good man - now he will be ashamed.

[ + 12 - ] Comment quote №126408
 05.04.2016
Do your relatives have beautiful, slim legs?
The feet are like the legs, let’s count the middle legs.
Failed legs must be hidden.
Where is?
Under Maxi

(h/f "Official novel")

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №126407
 05.04.2016
XXX: The Fuck
xxx: I cling from work to home computing on timeview
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[ + 16 - ] Comment quote №126406
 05.04.2016
And here, on the 31st, we filled his tube with marijuana, like - let him smile at least once.
///////////////////
I would be in your place, idiots.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №126405
 05.04.2016
I found it on the internet.
Writing some grandmother recipe from strawberries with details, of course.
The main thing is that her worries-children cannot tolerate strawberries.
But here, she rejoices, they did not understand what was made of and ate.
I ask why?
I watched in the store baklažany now for 500 r.
Fuck, woman, if you were to feed the children with cabbage and not eat out.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №126404
 05.04.2016
About the "Family Nest" of F.E. of Dzerzhinsky:

sublieutenant: Pleased memorial plaque on the first photo - "The foundation of the house where F.E. was born. The Dutch" The idea arises involuntarily that the birth of Felix Edmundich was similar to the birth of the god of Chaos, since it entailed such destruction of the area.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №126403
 05.04.2016
There are norms of decency, forgotten in favor of "comfort and self-expression". And these norms extended to the daily dressing. Some 20-25 years ago it was just not decent to wear a sports suit for events not related to sports, it was not decent to appear in shorts, slats, with a naked torso in public places other than the beach. Now they go to the cinema, the cafe, the club, on a date - they see so comfortable. Your appearance speaks about your self-esteem or the exact lack of it.
– is
Well, before it was "unclear" (truly, I strongly doubt that shorts 20 years ago were something "unclear"), and now it is not. All these rules of conduct in public places should be based only on the idea of a comfortable environment. If it smells of you, it’s disgraceful. If you refer to the asphalt and sprinkled someone, and somebody then comes into it - it is inappropriate. Music shimmering from the speaker of the phone or from the headphones, from which others have a headache - it is inappropriate. The appearance of a person is his personal affair. Except for excessive nakedness, because sex is considered to be intimate (and not because men’s legs, you see, are ugly:))) But there are no massive naked torsoes I do not see in our Peter even in the hottest heat, except that on the street sometimes, but neither in the cafe, nor in the movie, nor even in the subway no naked men walk :)

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №126402
 05.04.2016
xxx: As Sisadmin wonder: why the cute girls-feelings and mommies boast of their economics are unimaginably polluted keyboards, the screens of monitors are dusty and clamped with fingers, and the working tables are fairy covered with labels (and all this applies not only to office, but also home devices)?

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №126401
 05.04.2016
>>>And the most interesting thing, how did this Boeing get to the Pentagon? Is this the most protected airspace in the world?

Well, I don’t know, we’ve got an analogy of the Pentagon actually burned up:

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №126400
 05.04.2016
Listening to all these stories about collectors does not stop tormenting me one question. And if I pay the loan on time, I can come to the bank and write something on their wall like "Ivanov from 7 apartments pay on time!"?

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna