How do I know if I am stupid? Or maybe a straw?
To myself I seem very good, young and beautiful.

Do you think with the advent of the Internet the OSC warning system disappeared? Not a figured!
I live in a military town, most of them know each other in the face. There is a handy pocket next to my neighbor’s garage, I’ll put my car there while I close my garage, so as not to interfere with the road. So this morning I sit in the car in this pocket, adjusting the condos. She went out and a woman passed by. I would never pay attention to her, if in the evening, coming from work, I would suddenly not find out that my husband left me, and I took my husband to Katka Zhukova (in fact, it is a convenient pocket near their garage), and now I put my car in their garage, and Katka went to my mother to live, so she is not visible (in fact Katka and her husband are off at sea for the third week and still not aware that I destroyed their family), and my husband was recently seen with some girl in the Globe (it was me, just in a given dress).
This is how a completely strange person can change your life 180 degrees in one working day.

from serebryakovaa

It’s hard to explain something on the phone. Especially a remote object.

Imagine: an electrician is calling a remote object, and there is only a carpenter.

Those who blink. Do not blink? So so so so... Must be blinking. A-a-a, I remembered, they stand with their back to us, Grisha, with their back... And they don’t blink. More precisely in the wall they flash, they are turned to the wall with their indicators. Yes Grisha yes! In the wall with roses, and to us with the back... with the ass they stand to us... with the ass they look at us!

How to distinguish a philologist from a crowd.
Pull him with your hand.
If he goes away in response, then he is not a philologist.
The philosophers answered.

And a good idea is to introduce the term "homophiles" and refer to them as the usual adequate ghettos, who do not look at strangers in bed, do not fight with girls-slashers, and generally treat homosexuals calmly, just they are never going to get a lover of their sex.

Little RAM is when you start saving on the open tabs of the browser.

Zzz, how do you say two on one in English?
YYY: Double Penetration

Fig with him, can just a cucumbers
/////////////////////////////

And then you together with the power of the earth will be used for medical purposes.

My husband and I were in the car today. We are always lucky – usually the process occurs at night, in the wind and in the rain.
They have already stumbled out and borrowed and then the husband gives out: "Someone has a dance, someone has a game... Well, we must have a common hobby! I think it’s a great option!"

I am standing on the light, waiting for the green. Without waiting, he went on the red. Apparently there was a chain reaction. Half the way, her husband said:
You look at me, you look at me when you go on the red.

"Steven Seagal in an informal setting tried the carrots of Alexander Lukashenko".

Am... Well, I don’t know what to say. What did you think?

This story happened to my classmate’s father. He was a strong man, of high height. (Unfortunately he is dead. It is time to get the bull in the winter. For this purpose, he had a special stumb in his garden, to which he was bound to a cow, or to a bull a rope behind the horns, and with a blow of a squad on his head he rolled to the ground, after which he cut his throat. He did not want to call anyone to such activities, he always did it himself. So this time everything went according to plan, a rope was tied and a crushing blow was inflicted on the head. The bull began to fall, the rope stretched, the pillar of sight crushed and fell with the bull straight to his head. They both lost consciousness. The first thing he told me when I woke up, thank God, I first came to his consciousness.

There is a man in the village named Cancer. And when I was 6 I heard the phrase "when cancer whispers on the mountain." Well, of course, I took it seriously, and began to get him to go with me to the mountain and whisper. And he went! And you know what happened next? Then there was mysticism.

Our neighbor-alcoholic coded, I found 100 rubles, and my friend's parents bought a big one. Then I believed in magic.

– You wrote in your resume that you are a vegan and you run in the morning.

I’m vegan and run in the morning.

But we didn’t even ask you to send a resume.

"Russian landers refused to complete the Zenit Arena".

We break the bricks, not lay them.

by habr:
xxx: If the DDR4 memory is heated very poorly then why do you need a radiator at all, especially since "the contact spot with the thermal pad is incomplete and part of it hangs in emptiness"?
YYY: Because an ordinary grind can’t cost $8, and a croton can.

Once I was drunk...
by Admin Pidaras!

When I was a young employee of a major research institute, a senior fellow, whom I respected, came to me one day and said, “Listen, there’s such a steep iron in your working compass! What computer do you have at home? I speak, say, generations of 2 older (type I had at home was 386, and at work pentium). The companion said, “So you don’t take advantage of such a wonderful opportunity! Change the iron from a working compass to a home compass, no one will notice it.” Well, I left for sight, myself a little wondering about myself such a holy simplicity of a colleague. And two weeks later, a very big boss comes with a bunch of manuals and checks and, looking at me with contempt, dismantles my working computer and starts checking the marks and serial numbers. Then much more humbly he gathers the computer back and, without looking me in the eyes, silently leaves. What is amazing in this story? The fact that I compared these events only 10 years later coincidentally recalling those times. And until then I thought that it was very easy and beautiful to get into the collective, and what all around decent people.

In the subway, a man asked me:
What number today?
- 25th
And yesterday?

I don’t see prospects.
Do not use a condom.