bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №128410
 21.05.2016
XHH: We have clients in the company Tuzik.
VU: UGU, LLC "Tuzik" makes an act of conspiracy with LLC "Grelka"...

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №128409
 21.05.2016
"...learn the language of the country we eat."

In which country do you eat? How is it to be in the country?

[ + 16 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №128408
 21.05.2016
And the ambulances as the undermined are called, angry that she did not come to them so quickly, and the state hospital will lie down on the OMS policy, not suffering with conscience at all, and no parasitic nest has yet refused disability pension, etc.



What a passion, what a passion!
The ambulance comes with an analgin, a tonometer and a carrier.
In the state hospital according to the OMS policy, you will buy everything - bandages, bandages, syringes, etc. You will receive bed and food free of charge. Both can be seen in horror films.
Disability pension and associated benefits are unlikely to help you simply survive. Where are you going to get the disability - in the state enterprise?
I understand that your parents in the state structure are robbing on the managers?

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №128407
 21.05.2016
The goose pig is not a comrade!
WOW: That’s where they sparked the idea of Angry Birds!

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №128406
 21.05.2016
Wunderkind Polyglot, which is:
When I was a child, when my parents were going abroad, I was taken on one condition, if I learned the language of the country we eat. My parents assured me that those who didn’t know the language would not be allowed to cross the border, and I believed it! :D So now I know 4 languages, not counting the native, I think to apply for an interpreter!"
Teaching Russian is not a problem.
"I have the right writing. It’s good, but for some reason it’s crumbling." Winnie Pooh

[ + 15 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №128405
 21.05.2016
I had an appendicitis.
Abdomen was upset so I called the ambulance already lying on the floor. At 3 o’clock at night. At the end of the wire, they listened and advised to go to the pharmacy for a knife. There was no strength to divide the discussion. I called back in half an hour. They told me to gather. And we were blasphemous: to gather the poor is only to hang up.
The ambulance arrived. On the equipment of the special transportation I will not say anything, I had no need - just a cold, uncomfortable taxi to the hospital.
They were brought to City Elizabeth No. 3, called in the people the 3rd Fighter because of the highest percentage of deaths. The beauty of reception tranquility I will probably miss.
At 10 a.m., a lovely doctor approached the clock and asked what boom to do - a classic or a laparoscopy. Classic free (cut blisters, 2-3 months of rehabilitation, etc.) and through a hole for 300 bucks (in rubles, of course). Let’s go through the hole.
No further interest. But preparing for the discharge, I was given a separate account for the bandages, some more than +200 backs. House 4 local without searches, food as well.
Do you need to cut the rubber?
MSK please do not worry, we know: you have everything for free and at the level of world standards.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №128404
 21.05.2016
In the chat one online game. Team position is out of place.

We’ll all get to Valgalla!
YYY: The valley...

[ + 22 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №128403
 21.05.2016
How to read the 1001 Nights Tale? Oh well...

And when the twenty-two night came, she said, "It came to me, O happy king, that the brother of the sinker, when the old woman said to him, 'Take off your clothes,' he rose up (and the world disappeared for him) and took off his clothes and remained naked, and then the girl said to him, 'Stand up now and run, and I will flee too,' and also split and cried, 'If you want anything, follow me,' and she ran ahead of him, and he followed her, and she ran into one room after another, and my brother behind her, and the passion overcame him, and his zeb was running, absolutely wretched. And she ran in front of him into a dark room, and my brother also followed her, and he came into a thin place, and the floor fell under him, and my brother did not have time to remember how he was in the middle of the street, in the market of leathermakers who sold and bought leather. And when the merchants saw my brother in this form, naked, with a raised zebra, with a shaved beard and eyebrows, and with a red face, they shouted at him and struck him in the palms and began to beat him with the skins, so that he lost his senses. andquot;

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №128402
 21.05.2016
No, I do not see

Infantilism and Naivety

Do you not see a connection between your definition of infantilism and naivety?
The terms are not synonymous, of course, but the meaning is very close.
If you do not take the extremes - children who have to, literally, survive from an early age, then it is obvious that the child's perception of the world is much more naive than the adult, that is. It is infantile.
tt d.

Infantility implies that you are not responsible for your actions for everything else. If it were the same one would have been the same term, but they are two and they are different. Get to know them in more detail and do not carry them apart.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №128401
 21.05.2016
Habr, the theme of fighting HIV

XX: So after all, HIV was created in a laboratory, accidentally missed, and the scientists involved wrote an official confession.
YY: How can you accidentally release a sexually transmitted disease?
ZZ: The party in the lab went out of control ^.^

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №128400
 21.05.2016
Is Bitcoin Allowed in Israel?
I’m going to get rid of it... all right now. Even though stop, bitcoin is money? When were the Jews against money?
Bees against honey, Jews against money, rock against drugs.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №128399
 21.05.2016
I came across a funny print: Tom Krug.
Maybe there is Michael Cruise.

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №128398
 21.05.2016
In short, with a pin, let’s make coffee. In the cosmodrome in Maca, a cappuccinator
2: It doesn’t sound very good.
1: What confused you?
2: The cappuccinator
1 to believe. I understand cappuccinators. I like when they’re dirty.
2: It sounds even worse

[ + 22 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №128397
 21.05.2016
v0ndelpark: My phone was almost a minute at a depth of 1.5 meters, pulled out, dismantled, 2 days dried on the window, now it works as before)
Bossanova: In other words, did he not work before?

[ + 25 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №128396
 21.05.2016
" In Krasnogorsk, non-payers for gas will turn off the sewerage "
What a deep thought!
Klitschko is nervously smoking in the side.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №128395
 21.05.2016
The paradoxes of life.
Some proudly think of themselves that they are the smartest, the most courageous and the most astute, and others, looking at them, for some reason only see the most ordinary fools.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №128394
 21.05.2016
XXX: I liked "Now it’s fashionable to look like a woodcut. Who does not cut down trees and takes care of himself all day to please other woodcutters.

YYY: In general, the woodcut is not correct, it is correct to say dendrosexual

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №128393
 21.05.2016
Oh yeah, all sleep, or the songs would sing.
Do not rush to bury us.
We still have business here.
We have little children at home.
I just wanted to live...

Be drunk – behave well!

Zzzz: This is stupid! Drink - drink, have fun, drink the goats!

Do not hurry to close our eyes.
We love all the darkness.
And on the cheeks of the wines,
In the wake of Gaga...

zzz: - Is the goose a goose? )))

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №128392
 21.05.2016
Damn... a couple of tens of thousands a year... two cats a month...

Are you part of the 13% sect? A quarter of lamas per year of all deductions from one employee at the average salary in the Russian Federation. If you don’t believe it, go to the accounting office and ask how much your job costs the employer. And people who earn 100k or more, such as a car repair master, spend there more than a million a year. For this money they already have to install cybernetic implants, and conditionally-free medicine can not even cure the tooth normally.

[ + 17 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №128391
 21.05.2016
How long have you been talking, how many questions have you been asking? I answer. The case was so:

Twenty-five people came to the village celebration: knights, peasants and girls. They were gathered in a cage. The unbroken sergeant in an old calf climbed on a low base and looked around them with a contemptible look.
Are you a knight, a hundred anchors in my ass? The sergeant questioned the crowd, running through the eyes, as if asking a question to everyone on the field.
The crowd responded differently.
The lazy young soldier, standing just aside, quickly counted the number of respondents.
“Seventeen,” he said to the sergeant.
The sergeant smiled before the following question, held a pause and shot with the words:
Are you a girl, do I breathe?
part of the crowd. The knights pale and lowered their eyes to the ground.
- Yes, - with laughter heard from the crowd, after which the ordinary said: "Twelve".
Are you a farmer, plunging over a horse? The last question was asked by the sergeant.
“Yes,” he heard from the crowd, and the ordinary said, “Eight.”
Go away! The sergeant shouted, casting a playful look at the girls, and began to descend from the bridge.

Thus, only three questions were asked.

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