bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №127809
 07.05.2016
From the comments of one of the games in the app store: everything would be nothing, but as long as it loads, I end up fucking.
Thank you Anton on Lumiya 525)

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №127808
 07.05.2016
And then you will stay with a tail instead of pants! andquot;

Without you, the tail is generally a universal thing in this regard.
You go to the caretaker and ask for your pants. In case of refusal, you get a tail.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №127807
 07.05.2016
I bought a coffee machine in the office. I am delighted, the type of natural coffee I drink, the type is not as harmful as soluble. A year later, the car was completely dismantled (broken), and not only the serviced parts were washed. Damn, I’d rather have a soluble drink all year.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №127806
 07.05.2016
Why if you are temperamental and have an oriental appearance (Caucasian), then you are a hot guy, and if you are Slavic, then you are just a PSYCH.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №127805
 07.05.2016
Khrushch: Karoch has finished swinging, I go through the dressing room, I look, I read something crawling on the top of the crawler. He is still so suspicious.
I think the grass is hiding, the happiness will survive.
XHH: Well, I pretended to be a vetosh, waited for him to leave, and used him in his mouth.
Tag: the cows
Hahahahah, he’s gotten rid of it, shit!

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №127804
 07.05.2016
xxx: There are only three types of errors made by programmers:
1st and syntax errors.
2nd of logical errors.
Three Discrepancy of types.
4 is Overflowing the buffer.

YYY: Yeah, three, you have forgotten
0 0 0 The choice of profession.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №127803
 07.05.2016
Listen, but you are more experienced... What do you need to do to make a girl agree to oral sex?
I don’t know what to do, but I can advise you what not to do.
1: How is it? And what then?
After three years of subtle hints never, you hear NEVER!!! Don't say when it all started this phrase: "Well shit, finally it!"
There will be no oral sex for seven years

[ + 30 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №127802
 07.05.2016
A joke of life. 
General cleaning, my painted walls, my hands all day in the water. 
I: I hope my hands won’t get a big, furry northern beast. 
Dad (surprisingly): who is this? 
I am (dark): but now guess...
Mother then!
Daddy is a deer!
This is what intelligent parents mean :D

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №127801
 07.05.2016
Supplements to enhance potency.

Badman is a superhero whose superpowers are held only on tablets.

[ + 23 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №127800
 07.05.2016
The rehearsal began with the phrase "Girls, repaired the pilots and got ready!!And the night stopped being dark!

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №127799
 07.05.2016
A man brought God to court. Those yes. I totally lost fear.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №127798
 07.05.2016
Nicaragua, he or she?
He is a Central American macho. There are four: El Salvador, Nicaragua, Honduras, Belize. And four hot chics: Panama, Costa Rica, Guatemala and Mexico.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №127797
 07.05.2016
What should be the ideal weight?

However, for example, after the last medical examination, we had to get some to eat and go to doctors, or the average plant weight was ~66 kg.

My grandfather all his adult life weighs about 60 kg, appears to be dry. He worked at the factory from his childhood, watched the north, in general, engaged in physical labor. Deep in retirement, he stumbled on the centurion-pumped men on the armrestling, and survived them all, some 10-15 years younger than him. 85 recently knocked, complains that all the friends-neighbors have died, say, except for the grandmother of peers at all, there is no one to bother about the hungry military childhood. Health and strength are not determined by weight.

[ + 16 - ] Comment quote №127796
 07.05.2016
Imagine the situation
A man comes to the store.
Bread for 20 rubles.
He goes to the box and rubs the cashier, who will pay for this bread 10 rubles.
And that it is economically more profitable to sell it at this price than not to sell at all.

And then threaten to complain to the supervisor.
Laughter is
There are a lot of defenders here.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №127795
 07.05.2016
10 copies
Nothing is recent. Lincoln for a lawyer. He is 10 years old, if not more.

Do you have fun with Google? Film of 2011. Is there a calculator? Would you help me count?

And yes, for many people who are not chasing for the latest news of the season, a five-year-old film falls into the category of "recent".

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №127794
 07.05.2016
In Moscow collected five tons of food for the needy inhabitants of villages.

They burned by habit.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №127793
 07.05.2016
You know, I feel like I’m sympathetic to her. Well, she... how it will be, the opposite...
Wauu (sleeping voice): is it parasympathetic?

[ + 23 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №127792
 07.05.2016
But here is not. The first rulers were expelled from Paradise not for the occupation of the same (for this they were created), but for the fact that the apples were sprinkled in the dust. On the advice of friends.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №127791
 07.05.2016

“Kusumus Langus Pangus Kusmus!”

Do you think magic and someone now on the answers of mayl.ru tried to impose a curse on the moderator or call Ktolhu? Here is FIG for you!
The man remembered the name of the dish from cabbage "bigos".

[ + 20 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №127790
 07.05.2016
The means to increase desire in women is called "shuba". It works great.
YYY: And, paradoxically, it works regardless of the season (chess and mat representatives of traditional science).

A means to increase the desire in women is called a skilled lover, who is able to deliver her orgasm, and the shirt increases the imitation of the desire of women, if the lover only cares about the slime of his sexual tension.

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna