bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №132519
 22.08.2016
Description of one application from PlayMarket:

A guide to the main console commands in Linux operating systems, which will help in the mastery of the terminal (command line).

At the bottom of the engine:
The appendix may contain materials only for adults.

"That’s exactly what" I thought.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №132518
 22.08.2016
I have no cat. But because of your flashmob, I dreamed today that there was a cat, and I am trying to find a navel in it.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №132517
 22.08.2016
Are you going to go to the cinema with Michelle today?
Q: I have a bigger problem.
My girlfriend doesn’t like to watch movies. But that’s not a big disadvantage, right?
Well you see it ?
Well, you can find a girl to secretly go to the cinema.
That is very bad! ?
Yes, it’s a decision.
Go to the cinema with Michelle.
He also has long hair.
Yyy: and always wants to see some shit about the betmen

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №132516
 22.08.2016
Let’s say that for breakfast I bought a "Taste Book" chiabatta and a bottle of "Evian". Can I say I eat bread and water?

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №132515
 22.08.2016
He joked primitively, Woo decided to knock him:

Are you probably writing the script?
I don’t have any scenarios!! I’m all on the go!!! to
Apologies to Evgeny Vaganovich

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №132514
 22.08.2016
A child who is hindered from working at home.

The solution is simple: Daddy’s office. It can be simply flanked from the rest of the room by a closet, but it should be a clearly separated part of the apartment, about which it is clearly explained and formulated: Dad goes there to work, Dad works there, he earns money there. That is why you can only swing there during working hours in a matter of primary importance, and it is desirable to pre-tap. Otherwise, the father is deprived of the opportunity to earn money, including his, children's, toys, not to mention other important things.

The time-tested recipe, with the correct application and support of the mother, works like a clock.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №132513
 22.08.2016
He grew up in a monastery. People are few, and 80% are employees of one company. In such places your biography is traced almost from birth, at the level of Kuzyanin and studied in the first school - and probably Ivan Ivanovich Kuzyanin's grandson, you sometimes feel under Mueller's cap, because through Petrovna, who is a neighbor of a sister's friend (or sister of a friend, no difference) about an unfamiliar person, you can learn about it.

My friend wasn’t happy — she was, first, almost the only red in the city, secondly, with a rare surname. The whole city knew about each of her cheeks. In general, at the age of 13, when none of the friends had yet thought of any marriage, she had already begun to care intentionally Ivanov or Petrov, so that at least her daughter could live peacefully.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №132512
 22.08.2016
Can I give a brief overview of the weekend? Who was right in the past?

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №132511
 22.08.2016
xxx: the average mint can withstand no more than 15 minutes of communication with the parents of students and schoolchildren, after which it is mechanically pulled behind the oak.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №132510
 22.08.2016
The world government should appoint Valve Corporation.
What would this be?
Half-Life 1 was released in 1998, Half-Life 2 in 2004, and the third is still waiting and it has become a mem. The same stuff with Portal, Left 4 Dead, Team Fortress - made the first two games, and the third sequel is not.
And what?
With Valve, there will never be a Third World War.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №132509
 22.08.2016
Netochka: Do you get reptilian intelligence services paying you a lot of money to write “race” everywhere? Nothing else can explain your need to write like that.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №132508
 22.08.2016
When easy debility is your family.

Fuck me, the ass. You have a fucking ass in the kitchen. Remove the Axis! Is it normal at all?
The Brother: Yes. Don’t be afraid, he is kind. He has been living here for two weeks. This is a domestic pet.
I: The pet must have a name.
Brother: I have something to do. meet you. This is Joseph.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №132507
 22.08.2016
Prehistory: My father and I have almost not communicated all my life, he dropped from my mother in my three months, because "she worships at night and generally realized that the family is not mine." I have a name from him (rarely) and a name (more or less common).

I was 25 years old, I went to work in one office with a passport regime, she passport data. I am met by a representative of the organization, he leads... On the way we meet some uncle (I didn’t even consider), my companion greeted him and then said to me – said, and this is my colleague, he has a name, like your paternity, and the surname is the same, funny coincidence, right?

Ten years have passed, and I don’t know, maybe it wasn’t a coincidence.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №132506
 22.08.2016
The Employee:
The main rule of safety is not to squeeze your fingers!!! to
So they don’t wave.
Take the nails.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №132505
 22.08.2016
LIKE: forest after gasoline: 50 years of leader in the market of free toilets!

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №132504
 22.08.2016
C 4PDA, smarter discussion, battery and power bank:
I made it myself from a Soviet light bulb, there are no problems, but one hand in the pocket and in the second smart, passers look around.


[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №132503
 22.08.2016
I put a picture of the mother, where an icon stands in the place of the other.
Humanity is not ready yet, send back to the future.
Command 2: Is it Elbrus?

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №132502
 22.08.2016
You always need to suffer more, mentality?

Well yes. It’s stupid to take from us. After us, adequate doctors will jump with 100% remedies from toxicosis, symphysitis, back pain, hemorrhoids and other things, and we know we are neglected. Grandma in one word.
But... stop. Per not. Per the opposite - it is we from the last forces the threshold of the medical cabinets beating, and from us weakens "with the fruit all okay, you will give birth - it will pass. Everyone is patient and you are patient". Well, right now, right now is right.

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №132501
 22.08.2016
He taught, in his time, his nephew the “evil” laughter. Well you know, as Dr. Evil has: "MUAHAHAHAHA!!!". The girl’s whispering voice made this laugh epic. Then I taught her to do it by team. Yes, I’m not a very kind and sweet uncle. But the beloved.
Is a child falling from a bicycle? Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!! to
Travelling by a full bus stop of tired and angry people? Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!! to
In the kindergarten I came for her before everyone and the rest of the children are jealous? Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!! to
In the end, a saleswoman from a neighboring store tells: "Your Inguka comes, gives 500 tenge, asks for a chupa-chops. I sell it and give it a thousand tenge. I see and please give. She whispered with the hell’s voice "Muahahaha!!And " and he ran away. I was so irritated that I couldn’t even run after it".

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №132500
 22.08.2016
I realized that I would spend the next 20 days with fun, when the senior chief began the first planner with the words: "At this shift, child death is undesirable."

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