bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №128692
 27.05.2016
I work in a separate territory, the accounting and personnel have to go to the other side of the city. I go there approximately once or twice a year, so I do not focus on the building, and he, as usual, has a very unequivocal planning.

At the entrance, I ask the security guard to clarify - said, Mari Ivanna from the staff department in which office is sitting? I get the answer:

and -311. On the third floor, get out of the elevator, turn to the left and walk along the corridor to the big pit with a ficus. In front of Ficus is a cabinet.

I approach the elevator and think: the main thing is that the ficus is not moved...

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №128691
 27.05.2016
Observations of an object alter the properties of the object. That is what the supporters of quantum mechanics say. And I was three months watching the cat hanging under the couch and nothing changed. I was tired of it and I remembered Newton’s second law. And again gave the mass of the cat some acceleration with a tap from the leg. It’s not me, but the cat watching me. He is in the right place. Plus a minus on the coordinate in the toilet in your bowl to the Planck constant for two.

Not “observation,” but “measurement of state.” Try to use on a sucking cat at least a stangensirkul, the result will surprise you.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №128690
 27.05.2016
The work is located in the middle between Moscow Kursk and Moscow Goods. Every morning I go out to the merchandise store and walk along the roads to the end of the fence.
He came out today. The weather is good. There is a booklet "RJD. Rules of safe conduct on railway routes". Open - on the first page with large letters "Walking on the paths is prohibited". I’m straight away from how pointy the RJD marketers work.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №128689
 27.05.2016
How much do you know the language?
Well... enough to say "sorry, I don’t speak French".
And all that?
Yet another suitcase. I know the suitcase.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №128688
 27.05.2016
Ed Le Shan "When Your Child Makes You Crazy" A wonderful book, I read it for the first time when my older son was 2 years old.
In the following years, I re-read it several times.
This is basically all I need to know about my kids.

Is there a similarity with the boss?

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №128687
 27.05.2016
If you could go to the store now and take whatever you want and have nothing from justice, would you not go?
>>>>>>>>
The question is incorrect. Specify - why this situation arose; whether my visit to such a store will cause damage to its owners or staff; whether I have the right to use this store.
Because for me there is a substantial difference between communism in its ideal representation, the situation of a “survivor alone” in a big city (by the type of “I am a legend”) and the misfortune that has struck a particular store. If the situation is such that my actions will be marvelous - I will not go.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №128686
 27.05.2016
There was, in general, a very strange case when I was invited to an interview with the company, listing me by phone projects implemented by them that really impressed me. In a rough business center, I was placed in a very comfortable chair, asked a lot of questions, clarified answers, and then, as if by the way, told that they had little trouble now, and the nearest salary I will get only in three months. To my surprise, they said that nothing terrible, I can still take a loan, which would have something to live in the near future.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №128685
 27.05.2016
HHH
I sit like this, people write differently - and go to Warcraft.
I felt deeply, from the word at all.
I think it is not so. And then I realize that for me Warcraft is a strategist in 3 parts + addons, which I passed in school, and for the rest it is a lot of hours spent in the wolf.

[ + 23 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №128684
 27.05.2016
20436: The doctor has diagnosed you, prescribed treatment, you ignore it, engage in self-medication, while not calling you an idiot? How then?

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №128683
 27.05.2016
Summer is not coming because not everyone has lost weight yet.

YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY I already wore my shorts and summer shirt.
I bought a new shirt, a bigger size.
Their shoulders became wider in the winter. And since my arms are growing and my shoulders are roughly the same.)

[ + 30 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №128682
 27.05.2016
I like this logic so much – why put thieves in jail, because the same thieves will come in their place?
Let us then cancel the PDD, everywhere at least once broken.

[ + 25 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №128681
 27.05.2016
Anyone who thinks that it is useful to smash a flower syrene: NO. It’s not, you are hurting her.

The bushes need to be cut. and Re-Zat. Correctly remove old, weak, sick shoots, form a crown. It is best to do this either before the start of the juice movement, or after the flowering. Certainly not during the flowering. You can cut blossoms, but not necessarily.
The cutting is done either with a sharp cutter / socket cutter, or with a sharp knife. The cut should be clean and careful - so the tree is minimally injured and the likelihood of carrying a virus or fungus is less. Large cuts are treated with garden wax, small ones will stretch and so on.

Breaking flowering branches is very harmful.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №128680
 27.05.2016
Binali Yildirim gave Жугдэрдемидину Gurragce corals.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №128679
 27.05.2016
"Genetics have found out that being poor is dangerous for the psyche"

Scientists finally confirmed that living in the luxury of Courchevel is much more fun than

Bombing at the Norilsk City Wash. I was confused and assumed...

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №128678
 27.05.2016
>> All are equal

Probably as well as salary. Yes the school?

[ + 23 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №128677
 27.05.2016
"Otherwise, what kind of re-education of society can we talk about?"

My eye was delayed. What is the "re-education of society"? Take the 1st person and re-educate. I have never seen a successful result in my life. The most it was possible to intimidate a person so that he did as he should while he is watched, but it is worth turning away and he is back for the old again. You can more or less educate children while they are young and learn from adults, but they are mostly bullied. They are small and so are we, how can we be strict with them?

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №128676
 27.05.2016
Miracles of Compatibility:
Word 2003: I can't open this. The file was created in a newer version of the program.
Compass: I can’t open it. The file is created in a new version of the program.
DipTrace: I can’t open it. The file is created in a new version of the program.
AutoCad: It is not possible to open the file because it was created in an earlier version of AutoCAD!

[ + 21 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №128675
 27.05.2016
Oh, those silly compliments. The most unpleasant compliment in my life is “Queen of the pot.” I even wanted to crown the bowl of this sick man.

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №128674
 27.05.2016
The story of a cavalier and a girl.
Once they separated, the girl in the rental apartment had some things bought together, in particular, a healthy telephone. The cavalier did not express the desire to take it away, "let it be with you" and all that.
But then the girl decided to move, there was a problem with the cat - and the knight promised in case of something to set up a cat in the village. She called him. The guy suddenly wanted back his box, while with the cat turned on the back. Before a bunch he suddenly found once lost (or allegedly lost) keys from this rental apartment.

The apocalypse came today. The man came and in the absence of the girl brought out the TV, a pot, a bowl and worn female boots. He would have taken something else, but the rest has already been taken away =)

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №128673
 27.05.2016
I was 12. Like most of my peers, I’ve always played The Sims. Who is not aware, when creating a new character you need to specify some parameters and character traits. And in the same list was the Count of Fetish. At the time, I was a child not ruined by the internet, and for some reason I was sure that fetish was nothing but something unacceptable, something you can’t tolerate. So in the pop-up list there was such a variant of fetish - the smell of sweat. And I always pointed it out, because I don’t tolerate it myself. What was my astonishment, when all my heroes eventually became terrible dirt, did not go to the shower, smelled their sweat buttocks with intoxication and went on.

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