Maslow pyramid for cats. My two got fat, the veterinarian advised to put on a diet. So they after a couple of days began to fight, although before that they lived peacefully. For a week my heart endured to see the beams of wool across the apartment when I came from work, then spit and decided that it would be better to be fat. The fight stopped.

That’s what happens... when I breathed over potatoes as a child – was I a viper?? to

The post of Russia, such as the Post of Russia, does not cease to surprise.
I got a notification, I go to the department to receive the "small package". Not only is it in principle unclear where to stand (20 minutes in the wrong window), so they did not find it. Asked to write the phone number, removed the notification. The morning call:
- Hi, tra-la-la address name, on your name package.
Hi yes, it is right.
Why didn’t you get it from the mailbox?
So I got a notification, I came to the department.
We put these packages in the mailbox.
I received a notification, I came to the department to receive.
Why didn’t you get it out of the mailbox? I’ll let him go there now.
A click of my brain...
I don’t understand, you’re leaving him there now and asking why I didn’t take him?! to
Yes, it is all right.
Can you leave the package in the office? I will take it myself.
Not to drop? I am in front of your mailbox.
Don’t go down, I’ll come and take it from the office.
by ZANAVES...

If you are tortured by very fashionable, English-language posts, all these top managers, sales managers, cleaning managers and so on, you can go to German analogues - it sounds more impressive. As the sales manager says...

The Führer, Director General
HESCHEFTFUERER FINDIRECTOR
Betribsleiter Technical Director
Folziendführer Executive Director
Zweigsteilenliater Director of the Branch
Head Accountant
Do you know the accountant?
Folksführer, Human Resource Manager
Ferkoiferfuhrer, Sales Manager
Abdelungslayter Head of Department
Chiffenkofer, Head of Supply
Großeynerführer, Chief Designer
Seinerfuhrer Designer
Absatzforcher marketer
Panzerfarer Driver
fercaufer salesman, manager
Grandmaster Chief Admin
Rauhermaster admin
Headquarters of Exit Admin
Programming programming
Bertribskribent Technical Writer
Non-Programming Web Developer
Nestlé Web Designer
Toilettenlaiterin, Puttsfrau cleaner

by Konstantin

The Mufti calls for female circumcision, the pops offer the bab to beat with a stick.
Which religion do you like more?

I am fucking.
What's the point that I drag my backpacks on the mountains and don't freeze at -30, if the unstopped door at some metro stations can easily expand me.
On average, girls are much weaker. Thank you very much to all of you who help in the transportation with a wheelchair and are patient with nervous moms.

xxx> fuck, so needed customers now...
XXX> Today I thought exactly who will appear
xxx> I think it’s all right.
I put the car in an uncomfortable place, eaten the garlic, dismantled the working computer to clean, released the second master, a cell phone with a 15% charge, a home charger... What is wrong?? to

One of my friends works in a law firm class "paid advice". They had a corporation. And you have to say two things about a friend: 1) He is scheduled to get married, and so far they and the loved one live together. 2) He does not hold alcohol, and he is drawn to the adventures of grandmothers, although to the adventures he does not live - falls asleep in the process.
The first action before the drunk: the bride joked and drafted article 209 over his member (this is about private property, but I can confuse - I am not a lawyer) to warn the competitor that the man is busy.
Action 2: The next morning. Around his eyes, the guy discovered that the bride was evil, like a manule. It turns out, after shaving, she found that his penis was sealed along with the eggs, fortunately not stretched. And around her inscriptions were written six of his fellow servants, confirming the inviolability of "property"

Pirates with their movies, software and music saved me more money than MPs with shops and smoking cessation.

#proclaimed

I have a story of life. It was in the distant 90s. I was a child at the time, there were no phones, there was nothing, we lived in the north in a small watchdog town. The whole family invited us to the wedding. Everyone whispered that the wedding was over. At that time I didn’t know what flight was. The wedding was done, all good. My wife’s stomach is growing. At each meeting, traditional female conversations, such as well-being, whether there is toxicity, whether it is pushed, when to give birth, etc. Someone of my acquaintances told me that it all seemed to have been taken to the birthplace. And my mom’s stuff had some shortage, or what. But she decided to quickly run to the nursery, leave the transmission and find out who was born (the uzi was not yet there). At home, they said that was not the case. Mom is in panic. I loved Mexican series. Stolen, replaced, and secretly separated children were her greatest fear. I wanted to check. A girl’s name and a new one. There are no phones, no contact with anyone. We rush through the city in search of acquaintances who know something. After all, there the birthdaughter was killed, buried and hidden, and the child was probably sold. It turned out to be very interesting in the end. There was no pregnancy. How the baby depicted the stomach, living with her husband, is still a mystery. But he had no doubts, until before the very birth, she did not confess to him. Their family life quickly ended. Since then, I have believed that there are no fucking ones.

One day in Peter.

XXX: Fuck, there is something bright and hot in the sky. Do you see it too?

YYY: I read that the same shit appears in other cities in the sky, even more often than here. I hope this anomaly lasts for a while.

ZZZ: This is called the Sun. In Wiki they write the following:"Sólnce (astr. ☉) is the only star in the solar system. Other objects of this system orbit the Sun: planets and their moons, dwarf planets and their moons, asteroids, meteoroids, comets and cosmic dust.

AAA: What is another star? The gray cover is the limit of the universe. The ball rises above the head and becomes hotter. Do you think this is the end?

I was with him at the beginning of the summer. I go to the bread.

Give me a bottle and a half.

We only have a cut in half.

Yes, it will come down. Give one and a half buttons.

We just cut it in half!!! to

Give me half a bottle. Another half baton. Another half baton.

Sometimes you just get surprised by such people.

I was 12. My mother sent me to the store. Among the purchases, two-thirds of the "doctoral" stick was heard.

Arriving at the sausage department, I expressed my desire to buy two-thirds of the "doctoral" stick.

The seller stumbled for a few seconds and asked: half or a little less?

No, not two thirds.

The seller looked at the sausage and the knife. I put the knife on a quarter of the stick.

The Seller: So much?

I have already fallen into a stupor. Either they mock me, or she doesn’t really know how much “two-thirds” is.

I became a little uncomfortable. Looking to the side, I saw her partner who was looking at her colleague with a confused smile.

I: If I divide the rod into three parts, I have two parts of these three.

The seller thought about it, then made a hint on a third of the stick and was going to make another one in the middle of the remaining part, as she was quickly caught by her partner.

The partner: Stand up! Cut where you made the mark!

It cut off.

The girlfriend floated in a smile.

Partner: Now give him most of it, and put the rest on the window.

The seller gave me a sausage. But it was seen by her that the connection between 2/3 and the manipulations made was not finally reached to her.

Ivo Bobul: we sit on days with crackers in the sauna
Ivo Bobul: and it turns out that one almost got married
Ivo Bobul: Why are you doing such a mistake and so on?
Ivo Bobul: the whole grass
Ivo Bobul: and here comes the late
Ivo Bobul: Slip the phrase - do not make a fatal mistake
Ivo Bobul: and publishes - and who is married?

Title: "Ukrainian fighter accused "Russian lobby" of his loss at the Olympics"
That’s because I’m black, haha?and "

Never discuss it. Just say: the doctor prohibited raising more than 3 kg and that’s all. This is an objective reason, not just a weakness.

As if that was enough. Variants of real answers to my explanation that doctors have forbidden me to lift heavy:
Lie to
I’m a doctor too and I’ll let you.
Just invented it?
Everyone’s going to go, but you’re not, don’t you feel ashamed?
The smartest thing?
Show the certificate
Finally broke out

Previously I was lost, now I just send us

Diamond: As a child, I was interested in photography. My mother hid her somewhere.

Just at the literature lesson, the class at 10m, asked to write out at home any favorite poem, and analyze it.

Of course, I didn’t think about doing anything, but I didn’t want to get two.

While the teacher was collecting notebooks, I, sitting on the last part of the third row, managed to compose and analyze my own poem. It’s over, I don’t remember what I wrote. But the task was "fulfilled", and handed over to the surprised E.U.

What was my surprise when I received my notebook the next day and saw the rating of 3. And I scattered such an inscription with a red pen: "I misunderstood the idea and the essence of the verse." My own poem.

When my future husband first came to visit to meet his parents, our cat met him at the entrance to the apartment. Having seen a new person, she approached to smell him, so for my parents the first impression of the son-in-law will always be this: an uncomfortable young man smiling and a theatrically-blowing cat next to him.

I think every one of you at least once in your life forgot the phone at home, in the car or elsewhere.

I just forgot my phone in the car and left the car in a parking lot near the workplace. It was Friday, the last day of the sprint.

In the evening at 8 o'clock was to take place a demonstration of the project to the customer, so that day I was especially busy and the lack of the phone discovered only after lunch. I decided to go out to smoke and take the phone out of the car for one.

But when I got to the parking lot, I found that the car keys were left on the desk. Having decided that nothing critical would happen if I didn’t answer someone’s call, I went back to work. He warned his girlfriend not to worry.

Time went by, the deadline was getting closer and closer, the work boiled.

Suddenly I get a message from a girl. He writes that he cannot enter the apartment, he cannot open the door with the neighbors.

This happened before, because she had a duplicate, and I had the original. The castle was already old.

I could not leave from work, so I asked a friend to come in and help open the door (he had the keys from the apartment).

Following are the words of a friend:

I came and tried to open the key, but it didn’t work.

There are no neighbors at home. Then he decided (with my consent) to break the castle. I don't know how he managed to do that, but how he managed to knock the lock through the lock well. The task was solved, it was only to buy a new castle instead of the old one.

I was at work all that time. At about 22 o’clock I was released. Sitting in the car, I first took the phone in my hands and saw dozens of missed calls from an unknown number and 1 SMS message about this content:

“Hello, this is your neighbor. This morning the castle broke and we replaced it with a new one. You can pick up the keys in the apartment.