bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №136777
 11.12.2016
Imagine a vessel with an absolutely flat bottom. And put on the bottom a flat piece of wood so that it lies completely on the bottom, and there is no water left between it and the bottom.
Question: What is the force of the archimed with which water acts on this piece of tree?
Your missing theoretical physicist.

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In Wikipedia, which is used by schoolchildren, it is stated that the law of Archimedes is not applicable to this case. Popular - there is no pressure of water on the piece from below, it will not pop up. Because of this, sometimes submarines can not break off from the bottom.

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №136776
 11.12.2016
About how two managers came to Rao EES to check "the warehouse of finished products".
Tell me how it went, don’t be ashamed. As the chief engineer showed them on the wires and boxes and said "Please read". And two of these red men from their own debility of the ugly then returned to Gazprom and fired the man. A professional who has two years to retire. And then the other professionals were replaced by managers. What a difference, it’s just the energy of the country.
Have fun ch.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №136775
 11.12.2016
When the new version of the game S.T.A.L.K.E.R. will be released? to

Just after Half-Life 3.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №136774
 11.12.2016
Something in my house smells hot.
What did you cook?
What I cooked, I’ve thrown away, it smells like something else.

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №136773
 11.12.2016
Cats and mice (in the context of the current trends):

Two o’clock at night, the bar is closed. A German mouse rises out of the bar, looks around - there is no cat, carries to the bar, fills herself with beer, drinks and flies back to the bar.

After a minute, a French mouse appears, looks around - there is no cat, he also goes to the bar, pouches himself wine, drinks and also runs into the cave.

The Mexican mouse is raised - there is no cat, tequila, norca.

It looks like a Russian mouse - no cat, runs to the bar, pouches 100 grams, drinks, looks around - no cat, pouches the second, drinks - no cat, pouches the third.
Then the fourth and fifth... after the fifth he sits down, looks around - no cat!
- smashes the muscles and cries so badly: "Well, we’ll wait..."

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №136772
 11.12.2016
and lying. Mom soon to retire, of course, for the grandmother we have been caring for a long time now, and not the grandmother for any of us, but the confidence in his non-earthly greatness and the right to all indicate this grandmother did not lose a drop. And my mother will not learn to report to her as a second-class girl, although everyone has only problems from this (including the grandmother, who adds to any received information Something Terrible Happened, and is taken to be fun to shake the nerves of themselves and others).
So don’t listen, it’s absolutely unclear who helps whom and whether it helps at all. You are not respected because you have not formulated the correct analogue of the formula, and this is MY business, and you allow parents to go where they absolutely do not need it. They have already raised their own children.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №136771
 11.12.2016
Lord, can anyone explain in two words what the post is about?
yyy: Logical chain: Friday – evening – alcohol – consciousness flow + Internet availability. That is all.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №136770
 11.12.2016
I decided to try something new, it went well, in the end they both stunned, I hardly raised my thorns because of the vertebrae's shaking, she stood up to the bath because of the lumbar. scratched through tears.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №136769
 11.12.2016
My husband and I go to Peter for the weekend. The first trip together after the birth of my son, who is a year old.
He: and the main thing is the return train not to sleep, or we can.
I: Why are you all about sleeping? I specially booked a room with sound insulation...!
He said, “Nobody will stop you from sleeping.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №136768
 11.12.2016
Liana: fucking, overdried, and it looks like the skin broke
Scorpion: Don’t worry, it will survive
I don’t want to wear gloves (

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №136767
 11.12.2016
Review of the film "The Dark Knight" about Batman:
The hero saves the city from the tyranny of capital, which is subordinated to both the mafia and the police, awakening in the people humanity, and he is interfered by an oligarch in the costume of a flying mouse, which covers technology.

[ + 38 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №136766
 11.12.2016
I read the rules of one website:
...
1.2 The If you do not agree with these Rules, please write to the Resource Administrator. It will deactivate or delete your account.
...
LOL

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №136765
 11.12.2016
xxx: My phone thinks I am at the airport in Vnukovo. He is probably a dreamer.

xxx: I just used to all sorts of settings, and it turned out that the Google map knows everything about my movements in the previous days. And in those days when I didn’t turn on the GPS, I was swimming somewhere in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. He was doing something suspicious. And I do not remember anything about it. You can start to be scared.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №136764
 11.12.2016
About the little jokes of the neurological department: called once neuropsychologists to the patient in the chamber. Grandma is well over 80, with a stroke in lSMA, paresis of the left side of the body and sight, as well as with the absence of speech. The treating doctor was worried – the patient was sad and breathed hard and seemed to be quietly driving to a depressed state. While I, young and inexperienced, looked sadly at the sad grandmother, thinking about how to bring her out of a depressed state, my wise and experienced colleague, and at the same time a mentor, first inspected the chamber and shrugged her hand.

“Listen, so move the grandmother over,” she said, “and she looks into the wall. I would also be sad if I looked at the tiles all day.



Grandma was transferred. She was drastically amused. I realized that sometimes you need to treat life much easier than you try at first.

[ + 35 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №136763
 11.12.2016
I spoke on the phone with my companion, normally talking about affairs, about life, and about different things. He was just telling me about his work, as suddenly in the middle of his story he interrupted himself with a phrase:

A second, I’ll call back.

He did not call back. Not in ten minutes, not in a week, not even in six months. I tried to call him first, but the phone was turned off. I tried to reach him through common acquaintances, but no one knew neither in the dream nor in the spirit where he was now and what he was doing.

And then the other day he called again and as nothing happened to know how I was doing things and all that. When I asked him what he was talking about, and where he actually stumbled during the last conversation, the comrade calmly explained that he was tired of all this shit.

He told me something on the phone, suddenly he became sad for his meaningless life (apparently cosmic urine hit his head) and he wildly stumbled, well, he decided to bring diversity to life in a very reluctant way: swelled up and left to Vladivostok (the case was in Rostov) for 8 months (! ) is Why his wounded soul decided to treat it there - "and the hell knows." And the phone specially cut off so that no one refused him to come back.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №136762
 11.12.2016
My husband came from a business trip. The child wraps around the suitcase and says, “Dad, get the toy!” You brought a toy, I know, get it quickly!" I decide to squeeze the impatient child a little and say, “Our dad usually brings dirty shirts, trousers and socks in his suitcase from a trip. Why do you think there is a toy there now?". What the husband philosophically notes: "This is who gets out of the suitcase. Who’s the dirty shirts and shirts and who’s the toys?

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №136761
 11.12.2016
AAA works in Yandex

AAA: Who uses the Yandex browser?
BBB: Only for the shoulder

AAA : mm Why not be so active? He is good :)

BBB: Yes, they are cloned like chromium. As long as Chrome is

AAA is fucking. We are not cloning. There are many ideas there.

CCC: Yes, they are not new there :))))
DDD is there! The new brakes

BBB : )))

DDD: The operation lives like a victim. Even more chromium.

CCC: no well if it’s his fitch, then there are new ones :))))

AAA: I’m a developer there a little. The fucking. I would say a very good browser.

DDD: Only CryptoFox What opera that chrome that amigi and yandex is one hat
The BBB 😉
AAA: We will soon release our axis
DDD: This is scary.
AAA: It is already more accurate.

DDD: Now your crazy browser and browser manager is coming out of all the gaps. And then you missed the button and you have a new axis (((

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №136760
 11.12.2016
Many billionaires are willing to read lectures as they earned the last billion, but run away from the answer. How they earned their first million.

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №136759
 11.12.2016
It was in the 90s. And when again? It was in those years that the salons of black and white magic worked around, and the advertising of these salons was streamed on TV. And one young man, who had his own small advertising studio, signed up to advertise a center of black magic called "Infernalus". But here it was, the salon is like that. With a display.
The witches were greedy, the advertisement was approved, and the money was not given. How were these issues solved in those years? Obviously not in the arbitration court. He complained to a familiar bandit. They went to the sorcerers. The center of magic looked like a rough decoration – black walls, a circle of skulls, kabbalist signs, a reversed star on the floor, a goat tower with horns. Everything as required. The witches were dressed in black hats with hats, the main hair was painted in a radical black color, and in general, the owners of this institution turned out to be people bold and fearless.
When asked, "will they give him (the advertiser stood next to him) a grandmother?" the witches replied that it was only their business, and that it was not worth it to address them with such a hernia. In addition, they can curse him, the bandit, that is, so that he will regret coming to them. They are the type of magicians in the fifth generation, and if they perform one ritual, then he is a dead man. Instead of answering, the eldest of the brothers loaded the chief magician in his jaw with his right hand and said:
“B...who are you gathered to frighten, serpent? Who are you talking to, P*D? I am baptized, I give to the temple, I have a cleric. I will destroy your sorcery.
And for his faithfulness, the brother added the fell on the floor wizard several times from his foot. The wizard quickly realized that he was risking to know the horrors of the Inquisition, and said that the money right now will give back that they are in the safe. And gave it.

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №136758
 11.12.2016
Heavily ill addicts of the free world from the last hand go to sports competitions and despite the toughest rehabilitation period appointed by their treating doctors, they still defeat these healthy Russian bugs, pumped with doping from cold drops.Richard McLaren

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