bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №136708
 08.12.2016
The director said to enter as credible test data as possible, so that at any time it was not embarrassing for the customer to show (previously in the text fields entered that on the keyboard will hit). People try their best, so I just saw this question-answer in one application:
What kind of beauty is that?)
It is NO)

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №136707
 08.12.2016
I don’t mean it’s cold in my apartment, but I just saw a white walker in a hat and a shirt.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №136706
 08.12.2016
My dad raised me. My mom wasn't there, and my dad didn't force me to do anything at all, but at the age of nine I was already cooking and washing the floors at home because... because he fucking two would have done it well. Yes, for a checklist. In general, I grew up strong and healthy: in order to grow up in the atmosphere of pophygism it takes a lot of strength and health... but, god, how much I continued in my life, because at 14-15 years of age I was not forced to study normally =(

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №136705
 08.12.2016
What is heavier than a ton of iron or a ton of watt?

> Stand up under the window – let’s check.

Can you tell me how you checked? I don’t want to be buried either under this or under another.
A ton of watt under normal conditions is approximately 6 Newtons lighter than a ton of iron

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №136704
 08.12.2016
xxx> Ohhhh... Just unlocked the simka with PUK code for the first time in 15 years.
yyy> Hm.
xxx> What is it?
yyy> Aaa, you have no children.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №136703
 08.12.2016
# education

I was given early in the basement for 7 months.Since then I saw my mother only before going to bed: the rest of the time she either worked 6/7, or ran around the house with a wreath, a bag of things, etc. In the ranks sometimes stood together:4-5 hours on average, a day.
But here’s what’s funny: Mom’s advice on raising my grandson is based on the claim that I wasn’t dropped out of my hands, I wasn’t locked in any beds, I wasn’t walking on the street myself, and I had time. When you start ticking up in open disagreements, sometimes even confirming with photos, Mom for a while silences, laughs about a possible particular case, and then again.

In fact, what do I do: may the memory of some gurus (from both sides) lead them down and the emotions prevent them from remembering all the details?

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №136702
 08.12.2016
and TV. The year of Russian cinema" Modern actors and directors tell what to film and all this is interrupted by inserts from films. Such insightful speeches, beautiful words... And 95% of the footage is taken from Soviet cinema.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №136701
 08.12.2016
When social networks just started to appear, we had a local network between several houses in our neighborhood. One day, the high school students, remarkably arrived, decided to hold a contest, who more fun nick in the chat will come up with. Thus appeared in the chat. It didn’t take much time for this guy to become a whisper once and for all at school.

Many years passed, I graduated from university and worked in a real estate company. With my colleague, webmaster Dasha, we didn’t have much in common, but we found one common acquaintance. One day, Dasha showed me a photo with a company of friends.

I started by pointing to the person in the photo.

and whisper. Dacha finished for me.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №136700
 08.12.2016
In an online sexshop - some ridiculous, shapeless piece of green shit depicting a

I think he’s going to go for 12.5K.

Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh!! to

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №136699
 08.12.2016
XXX: as I introduce vodka with cake, it becomes bad...

yyy: in the existence of work in the theater - there was lightly on the table, after the premiere, vodka and cake.
They also eat flowers, but less often.

[ + 22 - ] [10 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №136698
 08.12.2016
The issue of appeals.
And you know, I even have fun when I’m called a “girl,” even though I’ve been out of my youth for a long time. Of course, I understand that this is due to the lack in our language of adequate appeals and quietly think "not lust yourself". But it’s more pleasant than ‘woman’ and, God, ‘grandmother’!

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №136697
 08.12.2016
Russia has created a system of underwater navigation working on GLONASS.

They have completed the formation of a submarine group of satellites!

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №136696
 08.12.2016
After trials with a crazy glucose program:

XXX: Something is resolved by shamanism, something by sacrifice.
XXX: There are no outcome situations.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №136695
 08.12.2016
Scotland Yard has found a simple way to bypass the iPhone lock screen

Police pull the smartphone out of the suspects’ hands during the conversation and prevent the screen from locking.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №136694
 08.12.2016
For the seventh time in a week, it suddenly fell snow. Airports are not ready, we cancel flights. The Road Service: Wow! What a surprise! Stop by 9 points. The Assembly: Ashpelme bešpelme! by Satan. The courtyards are covered with snow. We jump like rabbits. Once again, winter arrived in Russia completely unpredictably.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №136693
 08.12.2016
This is Timati’s best song, I’m shielding. At least, that’s the only thing I can sing when they talk to me about Timothy. He’s beautiful: it’s the Tandum Verde Fort... ah, how brutal it is. Should call him to advertise anti-hemorrhoids

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №136692
 08.12.2016
Stones under the photo of a multi-storey village with chickens
And when the eggs fall out of them sitting on the upper fold, do they not beat? Does it mean that the eggs are broken?
2: They do not break, they carry eggs in sludge boxes!and :)
3: There below the wolf with the basket runs and catches!)))
4 is no. Their wolf with the basket catches, you know, don’t you? It is :)

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №136691
 08.12.2016
Talk about fraudsters on the air:
XXX: You have all your data. Give him a shit box. I am willing to pay for the transfer.
YYY: I will put
Zzzz: Here’s what you’re paying.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №136690
 08.12.2016
Oleg, how did you get in the tanks? Did he lie after being drunk? Drunk Sisadmin is not his WSAD master? ))))

[ + 36 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №136689
 08.12.2016
At work, I often fly airplanes and I like to see pilots with a sense of humor. Here is my small collection:

“Welcome to the past.” Upon landing, flight Khabarovsk-Moscow

2) "We fly at an altitude of 10,000 meters, the temperature on board -56C... a big request not to open the window"

3) "And now we are flying over the Baikal, from the height of flight there is a very beautiful view of the lake, but you will not see it because it is very cloudy."

4) “You can’t knock, we can’t hear anyway.” At the landing.

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna