bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 21 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №122867
 10.01.2016
Why is the word "cobble" in the application to man insulting, but not maternal, and "suka" maternal? Which side do dogs have sexism and sexism to dogs?

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №122866
 10.01.2016
Article on text steganography, specifically - on the method of double spaces between words.
The comments:

xxx: When I was a kid and worked in an ASU group, I sometimes had to write texts for soldiers. Such a feeling that everybody is familiar with this method...)) - In a simple word, they managed to fix gaps, transfers, etc. figi))..

The enemy will not pass! Per they sent encryptions to the center?

[ + 53 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №122865
 10.01.2016
A sudden incident happened on Swedish television.



One person told me why his conscience tormented him: “When I was a kid, my friend and I decided to run a hammer on a parachute from the balcony of a high-rise house. We smashed the basket, parachuted, put hammer in the basket and let go. But the unexpected happened. The wind picked up our parachute and took it somewhere far away. I still cannot forget that. How could I have done so?”



Suddenly there was a phone call in the studio. The caller asked, “Is this happened in that year?” the man replied affirmatively. “In the summer, when was the holiday of the city of Stockholm?” – “Yes, yes, yes,” a man rushed. “I know what happened to your hammer.” “What happened to him?” could not believe his ears a surprise guest of the studio.



“My daughter asked for a hammer for a long time,” the woman continued. I told her once, don’t even ask. We will have hamsters only if God Himself gives you them.” The little girl raised her hands to heaven and said, "Papa, God, give me a hamster!" - and then we went to the city for a celebration. Suddenly my daughter says, “Mommy, I think God has answered the prayer! Look at it!”



And right from the sky on the parachute, a hamster in a basket fell into her hands.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №122864
 10.01.2016
xxx: Tanya said that she is pleased with a note with any characteristics if it is red
Tagged: fucking
I bought my car like that.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №122863
 10.01.2016
Armanx64: It takes the likeness of the Babylonian calendar - to 13 months, where 12 months - 30 days, and the last month - holidays. The new year begins on December 22nd, when the winter solstice. Five days of the thirteenth month + five days of the first - this is your New Year holidays.
On the summer solstice also five days of holidays - Half of the year.

Complaints about "business suffers because of the holidays" - your business. Leave the 60-hour working day to Prokhorov, we completely abolished slavery in the 17th year.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №122862
 10.01.2016
Hello, I had my first phone sex today. The shuttle flew.
Congratulations, and how then?and :)
XXX: It feels like I’ve been hugged.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №122861
 10.01.2016
aaa: And I didn’t know that the Windows system partition could be put on the Windows software raid. But it succeeded.

bbb: "Can I walk on a toothbrush at night, lighting up the road with an iPhone 6s+?" - "Maybe, but not reasonably".

BBB: There are things you don’t need to know if they’re possible. No matter what it is not worth doing.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №122860
 10.01.2016
Greek girl: Hehe, I was here in the internet messenger one lady said that it is shameful for a mature woman to express herself as a teenager!"
I looked around looking for a mature woman.)

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №122859
 10.01.2016
dim_deev: A woman gave birth to a baby in a snowfall near Orenburg
Dim_deev: This is where the snowmen come from.

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №122858
 10.01.2016
XXX: hoho, the subconductor finished his job %)
YYY: Hoho, the luzer! I’ve been painting for half an hour!
XXX: You washed all the dishes in the kitchen, cleaned all the dust and washed the floor?
YYY: No, I washed the dishes and washed the dust. She prefers to wash herself :)
XXX: Fu, you are under the lower heels! and weak! % of))

[ + 33 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №122857
 10.01.2016
Cheburashka dreamed of a terrible dream, as if he was chased by Barmalees at a speed of 6 km / h, Shapoklyak at a speed of 4 km / h, Karabas at a speed of 7 km / h. At first Cheburashka fled very quickly in his dream, and Karabas lagged behind him by 30 km, Shapoklyak by 39 km, and Barmaley by 35 km. But then Cheburashka could not run faster than at 2 km/h.

Who will catch Cheburashka in a dream, and who will not catch it, if it is known that the alarm woke Cheburashka 8 hours after he ran at a speed of 2 km / h.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №122856
 10.01.2016
The Germans crossed the border. Denmark enters war against the strongest army in Europe.

Why is the movie 1 hour 30 minutes?
Denmark surrendered an hour after the German invasion.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №122855
 10.01.2016
Stereotypes are surprising.
I am standing at the window, eating a mandarine, watching cars ride on the road. I live on the second floor and everything is relatively well seen. In front of the house on the other side of the road stop, at the stop "parked" municipal bus. It is permissible, t. This stop is the last on the route and people rarely sit there. Except on a trolley bus that runs around. Standing means eating, looking from the neighboring house goes a girl to the side of the road with waiting to cross the road to the stop. In terms of 20 years). At least in the form of clothes.) I thought "probably on the trolleybus ran", then immediately "other... doubtfully... will stand for a long time... probably on the river went, or in the private sector...". At this time, the girl ran through the stop, approached the bus in front, pressed the "button" at the driver's door, went in, laid the bag, removed the jacket, looked in the rear-view mirror, "chested" with a couple of hands on her hair, sat in the driver's seat and left for work!!! And I kept standing and watching and eating a mandarine!!! to

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №122854
 10.01.2016
Per that man is repairing so hard that he is stunned by the noise of the neighbor's child and he makes a powerful sound insulation?

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №122853
 10.01.2016
xxx: To make an opinion about whether to watch Episode 7 you should look at the prequel Episode 6 in which the galactic empire was destroyed by the primitive tribe of alien bears.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №122852
 10.01.2016
RoV: What is the length you need?
Yes, 10 is enough.
RoV: Oh, the grandmothers would say so...

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №122851
 10.01.2016
What happened to the Moscow-Thorsk electricity station? Why were they fined?
People learned to run after the holidays.

[ + 26 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №122850
 10.01.2016
If a guy and a girl are similar, then they will be happy and will live long. If they go together, it’s shit.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №122849
 10.01.2016
Mom, don’t go to work today. I will not go to the garden. We both had fun.

I can’t, I’ve gotten rid of everything.

The child, spreading his hands, with sincere generosity:

Take the mine!

“Ah, I’ll call Egor Stepanovich now and say that I’ve signed up at the stop and I won’t come to work today because it was my last clean socks.

[ + 26 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №122848
 10.01.2016
Chelyabinsk region
A man broke the wall to his neighbors with a squid because they were noisy.

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna