bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №123645
 28.01.2016
The Reading Forum. Theme - "Courseworkers"

and pkn:
Example of the Middle Ages personally on yourself, the first thing that comes to mind is to hang up immediately upon arrival. I could probably find iron ore in the curvature, but you can melt it on wooden coal, coke is needed, and about coal coal I only know that they are. somewhere.

The idea of medical progress is still weakly moved - in some instance I read, and it was quite realistic that modern basic knowledge of hygiene and disease agents could in the Middle Ages qualitatively change the picture, at least, of child mortality... but this is only after the authority is already there. And while this authority works... no, hang up, and as soon as possible.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №123644
 28.01.2016
B.T., it turns out, people under minimalism do not understand what I am.
They write in the briefing “I like minimalism,” and when they see my minimalism, they ask, “Where is the design?”

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №123643
 28.01.2016
to this
and ==
A colleague has the habit of leaving, leaving a cell phone on his desk... The call is stupid and long, in the office 15 people who don’t like to listen to it.

In response to another request to either turn off the phone or take with you a blue-eyed comrade asked: "And what, you don’t like, yes". And I read a small lecture on the topic "You are just complicated and you do not like the manifestations of other people’s freedom!". On the offer to walk naked, since he is so free, he was offended.
and ==
Put the phone in silent mode to throw a colleague deeper into the cellphone. But it can also be given by mouth.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №123642
 28.01.2016
The Ring of Almighty.
Q: Does the ring magically change density?
WOW: Is this the only property of the ring that seems unusual?

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №123641
 28.01.2016
Puma> an electrician came to us and digs in the ceiling
Puma> well in general he climbs the ceiling with a lamp on his head, says - "we need to see what he eats"... somehow scary
Silv_m> don’t be afraid, there’s just a giant alien invisible mucosa on the ceiling that sometimes eats your programmers, masking it with psi-radiation for their dismissal on their own will.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №123640
 28.01.2016
The XXII century. The case.
...
Why be afraid of them! They are stupid as garden inventory!
and hm. Then we will have to be hard.
Why this? I am saying...
I personally can’t beat my garden robot in chess.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №123639
 28.01.2016
This is a man. He will try to change his
and life. Look how he
Funny hopes for the best.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №123638
 28.01.2016
Today I was on a bus next to a Tajik who was talking on a cell phone. I realized that our languages are very similar. For example, they also have the words “telephone”, “bankomat”, “authority”, “Tajikistan”, “...unja!”

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №123637
 28.01.2016
How got M and Z, confusing rights with physical capabilities and the availability/absence of education...

[ + 19 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №123636
 28.01.2016
My boyfriend forgot all his pants.
XXX: Then she understood
XXX: She gave them washed.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №123635
 28.01.2016
We must not forget that the saying: "Free cheese is only in a mouse catch!"" has a continuation: "... and only for the second mouse!"
Yyy: What if the first mouse doesn’t die, but doesn’t eat cheese?
Zzzz: You also have Logitech, right?

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №123634
 28.01.2016
(Talk about online games such as Farm)
- You have such a serious kind of harvest, you can almost lose a million :D
– and? No, just a habit from work )) If you sit with a happy, happy look, you can not only burn, but also load with a new job ))
I think I understand why the Russians are called ugryum.

[ + 20 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №123633
 28.01.2016
Discussion of oil quotes on the trader forum:
Message from Shavkat kz at 12:01 will call (alert for violation of forum rules) between 30 and 32
Message from avdalev at 12:02 )))) what call?
Message from avdalev at 12:02 am I will dry up

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №123632
 28.01.2016
In the 1990s, a family with an eight-month-old son arrived. After all the tests were diagnosed with Wilms tumor, stage 2. The chances of healing were good.



But the parents took the child, and appeared a few months later when the child was already in the terminal stage. The doctor’s question is, “Where are you?“They replied that they went to Kashpirovsky to Moscow, but there was a big line and they didn’t get to him. Here our professor did not stand, and said in direct text that the baby is dying. And “mother” immediately demanded to sleep him so as not to torment him. That was when I was an intern, the first time I heard our teacher mother! The child was hospitalized. In the morning, he became an angel.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №123631
 28.01.2016
My daughter, 5 years old, asks me:

Mom, where do people come from?

I, of course, have been waiting for a long time for this question from the child, despite the fact that she knows that the children first live in the stomach of the mother, and so far she was enough... Before answering, I decide to clarify the question:

What kind of people, daughter?

People, where did they come from on this planet?

This is what the child is interested in. Exhaled... told various theories... relaxed until the next question...

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №123630
 28.01.2016
From Habr:
xxx: The easiest option to see a recursion is to direct the Web camera to the computer monitor screen, naturally, having it pre-enabled.
YYY: Here is a generation that has never seen a mirror.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №123629
 28.01.2016
Shakherezada said: We must not forget that the best underwear is men’s hands.

[ + 56 - ] Comment quote №123628
 28.01.2016
I often observe how harmless children’s hobbies encounter incomprehensible opposition from parents.
My friend’s parents smashed and destroyed her drawings, in her absence took and sold the guitar: they said, you’re stupid instead of studying.
The parents of a colleague removed all the literature on programming, destroyed the compilers and program sources installed on the computer with truths and falsehoods. “He will go crazy!”
I have been interested in electronics since childhood. And if at first everything was fine, then one day I returned from school and found that everything was missing somewhere – the parts, the tools, the solder, the tester, and even the hard-to-use oscillograph brought from the other end of the country, which was given to me by a radio-amateur relative. Parents, as it turned out, were very afraid that I was spinning something wrong, and they would be planted.
I am in front of me, with two daughters. One complains to the other that his son reads too much; little more, she found his notebook, where he writes fantastic stories about other planets. Maybe I should take him to the doctor...
And then everyone complains: why are their grown-up children only interested in alcohol?

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №123627
 28.01.2016
To get swine flu is hard and dangerous, and for Muslims, it is still bad.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №123626
 28.01.2016
[15:50:48] lexicon2004: Of course, I have no strong evidence
[15:50:56] lexicon2004: so you will have to use my guesses

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna