bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 17 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №123294
 19.01.2016
XXX: I read the summary. Places of work: singer of the left choir, singer of the right choir
I don’t understand anything, it really matters in the choir, which side are you on?
Yyy: Well, it’s either career growth or vice versa. It remains only to understand.

[ + 12 - ] Comment quote №123293
 19.01.2016
I split the girl and put her on the bed, she lies naked and excites me, why so provoke guys. Or ‘They have taken off the curtains and walk the streets half naked and provoke civilians’ (maybe about that was what immigrants in Germany thought)

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №123292
 19.01.2016
Conclusion to a long explanation about satellites and stages on the forum.
XX:... Always yours K. O.
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY Consider that the promotion - now you are Admiral Yasenhuy.
Zzzz: Generally speaking, it’s a lawyer, and he’s in dismissal.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №123291
 19.01.2016
I want snowfall to be called somehow. According to the type "In Kiev is moving a powerful snowfall Valery".

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №123290
 19.01.2016
The main nominee for the "Oscar 2016" - the film "Survivor" with DiCaprio.
But the new scandal - there is no single black nominee, and so it is not possible, so everything is revised and replaced.
Leo, it seems, the only chance not to fly again is to put on a guhtaline.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №123289
 19.01.2016
You just don’t know how to make the right sushi!

Now I will learn:
You buy in Bessarabka such a salsa, with generous blood-red meat veins, underwear it seems to be called by you.
2. there you also buy cucumbers salt, barrels
Third place: Cherry

You cut point 2 and wrap it into a fine-cut point 1, and you bind all this magnificence with point 3.

So go on to go on to go on to go on to go on to go!! to

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №123288
 19.01.2016
In the village they remember childhood. One of the posts:
With the balconies we called each other for communication. To communicate... From the balconies... Three balconies participated in the conference (two adjacent on the floor and one on the floor above), it used to be - another couple connected. I remember still hanging my back to the fence to look at the upper balcony until the parents see (I now remember, up the skin, I would have killed for such tricks). And once the wall collapsed in the toilet, adjacent to the corridor - so we read magazines until late and shared cookies through the hole until we finished the communication portal.
Now everyone in different cities, countries, have grown up, contacts have all been lost. For me, they are the ones who are crazy, mapy, with big curious eyes... I can’t get used to the fact that they are already other people. Why am I...? Remove the balconies.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №123287
 19.01.2016
They described a full woman with unripped legs, no cosmetics and in a bag/skin and asked “Do you like it?” "In fact, they described an ordinary non-table man. and the norm. A woman must be there to like such a man.

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №123286
 19.01.2016
I am one of those who constantly gives way to people who come to meet. And you know what annoys me the most about this habit? Dancing tango every time I meet the same idiots as me.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №123285
 19.01.2016
I am an Asian, I live in China, accordingly, the Chinese take me either for their own or for Korean (although how to dress), and the foreigners for Chinese. I stand somewhere in the Guangzhou subway in a line, reading from a tablet. I hear Russian, I don’t listen. Suddenly I feel a girl looking through my shoulder, apparently looking at what I am reading there. He sees the text in Russian, turns to his friends and screams "Look! He is reading in Russian!” To what I say, "once in Russian I can read, maybe I can speak Russian, how do you think?" After that, she cried out and with approximately this expression of the face rushed back to the opposite part of the room. So not every Asian in China is a Chinese. Not everyone, but the majority.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №123284
 19.01.2016
My daughter on the way to the subway told our new employee what a good job we had.
"Oh, this is the first job in my life I don’t want to quit!"
The pause...
"Sometimes I want to hang up, but I don’t want to quit!"

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №123283
 19.01.2016
The epic theatre! The appearance of women begins again. Moreover, those who argue forever argue in two diametrically opposite directions: that is, either you are a Barbie doll sprinkled, sprinkled and on wild spikes, or a straw in a bag of potatoes, unwashed and unsprinkled.
Not the average option, right? You can not just wash, shave your hair beautifully, without striking them to the state of the crust, wear comfortable and beautiful clothes and shoes and at the same time do not smash your face all in a row, but, for example, use a big pomada and face cream?
Or is it too difficult? Only black and white! Just a hardcore!

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №123282
 19.01.2016
My grandmother under 83.
Take care of your grandmother! A wonderful man! Delicate, smart, and still trying to figure out! She bought herself, realized that she did not understand herself, did not endure the brain of the seller and asked for help, and still understood that patience is needed! Health of your grandmother!

[ + 27 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №123281
 19.01.2016
After the advent of internet fashion on introverts and sociopaths, introverts and sociopaths met in companies began to be divided into two types.

Some sit in the corner and don’t communicate with anyone, others catch a jacket that has stuck behind a button, press in the corner and broadcast for hours what they are introverted and sociopathic and can’t tolerate communication.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №123280
 19.01.2016
A bit of boredom:
In our organization, Sisadmin is an important one - he looks at everyone from above, walks on the pavilion, screams at users like a droph. He was on vacation and I wanted to replace him. He has a job, I will tell you, not to lie down. In two weeks changed the dead keyboard and the router once restarted. Well, in the server mouse capture from mice freed. That’s all his job! As a lawyer, I did it. Where did the admin have so many ponts?

The fact that he now has such a job suggests that he had to get well at the beginning, when establishing a stable network.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №123279
 19.01.2016
And we had a rough guy at the workshop 2x2, in 2 years of working at the factory, I never heard him say. But one day someone had a machine shotgun and he flew low to the other end of the shop. This guy caught a flying bullet! What are you throwing? He put him in a row and left.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №123278
 19.01.2016
With the onset of the cold, the warmest place in the apartment is the bathroom. A hot-water standing tube heats a small sacred room to the state of the subtropics. In the rooms is noticeably colder - open forks for ventilation.



Sometimes I go to the toilet to warm up. I take notes, read or watch movies. People are accustomed to this antisocial behavior. And only cats regularly with an unwavering expression of the face come in and check if I'm quietly in their pots.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №123277
 19.01.2016
The grandmother told me that one day her girlfriend had a romance with a very nice guy, but when she learned that he was working as an ascensor, she immediately dropped him. She found another, but he did not give her peace, wanted to get it all back. But she was serious before the wedding. And this day has come, everyone is sitting in the dining room, the wedding is walking, summer, the heat, the windows are open. The offended Romeo comes in a service car, throws the hose in the window and fills the whole wedding with shit. He sat down, but in court said he was morally satisfied.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №123276
 19.01.2016
xxx: And how does modern science explain why people don’t get sick when immersed in Baptism?

YYY: Modern science knows that if exactly the same group of people in the same mood dive into the water of the same temperature at the same time on any other day of the year, the percentage of colds will be exactly the same.

YYY: Generally speaking, scientists have uncovered the secret of the amazing longevity of the oak. It turns out, there is no secret, and the eggs live, in general, not long..."

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №123275
 19.01.2016
What if I put my head in the microwave for 10 seconds at maximum power?

If you can do it, it will not be worse.

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