In Krasnoyarsk on January 25 will open the delivery of the land "YobiDoobi". From Japanese it translates as “Day of the Week – Saturday”.

My mother told me a story about her brother, my uncle. He served in the Soviet years somewhere in Begova, in the Ministry of Defense. One of the air force units was based there. For drinking the boys chased and did not want to get in the eyes of the boss. Not drinking in the dormitory and not on the bench? So they invented. They took a light snack with watermelon and went... to the Vagankovsk Cemetery. They sat near the monument of a pilot and drank quietly. Well what? The pilots are sitting in shape on the pilot’s grave with glasses. Everything was natural and no one was surprised or questioned. They have been using this way for a long time...

In a conversation with a friend about the rate of the dollar, I thought that as an option you can go abroad for a few months and work unskilled labor for dollars and you will return to Russia by getting rich... Where we are turning.

One Zohar lover decided to cure swelling on her legs. According to the recipe, it was necessary to soak the socks in vinegar and put on for two hours - to stimulate all kinds of areas there. So to treat, so to treat! She wiped out the essence, wiped out her socks and wore it all night. The socks were synthetic and melted right on the legs. A no less "smart" daughter came and began to wash her mother's socks with alcohol. And the ambulance was not called, "they are bombers and there anti-sanitary." In short, they called me. I come - my legs swelled, my lymph cramps, my temperature is under forty and my blood pressure is 220. Thanks to the surgeons - the legs saved, not amputated.

But now she is treating the kidneys. From Zoo...

Scientists have discovered the ninth planet of the solar system
It should be called the Baltic.

I caught a friend in the river. The oakun was large, but the only one was not fishing. At home, he noticed that in the stomach of the river robber, something spherical, of the correct shape emerged.



It was a turtle. She did not show signs of life, but her legs and head were whole. And to do this, the man picked up a bowl of water and threw a turtle into it. In the morning, I discovered that she lived all the living - all bears in the bank.



I went, bought her ice cream shrimp, worms and other delicacies. It seems like they’ve eaten you. You open your eyes: clean water around, no predators and hooks - eat, I don't want to. The turtle was in paradise. For the fourth year she has lived in this paradise.

The goldfish?

I wait for the dollar or euro to climb by 100 rubles just to see how banks are twisted with the expression of the rate on the two-digit table.

Well, I suspected that people have a short memory, but not so much! A year ago, only a year ago, there were courses for 100. The exchangers did one of two: 1. they glued the unit printed on paper to the left of the number, 2. they shifted the decimal line so that the whole part occupied three digits, and the fractional one.

Once our family was watching on TV "In the World of Animals", the cat was turning around. And suddenly... the cat is sharply pressed into the carpet with the whole body, its ears are pressed, and the front legs are not stretched forward, but spread in different directions. His eyes are angry, looking into the ceiling. At first I did not understand what this reaction was. Then there is a sound from the TV, the scream of an eagle. Tom, without changing his position, runs out of the room from behind. God, you have never met such a bird, how would you know... It is probably transmitted in the genes.

The lights have just turned off in the apartments. I called the operator and left a request. Half an hour later, the sanitary technician arrives with an application in which my name, today's date and something about the cold batteries are printed in black on white. As I explained to him the name of the electrician, the light appeared. For every case, I need a specialist.

Do not behave, very often the fifth-size breasts are attached to the eighth-size pulse.

I am interested in growing all kinds of greens. She ordered in the online store another batch of seeds and any other necessary, asked her husband to get on the way from work (on the way to him).

The order includes a five-liter package of land. Husband (already at home, studying the packaging):

-Made in the Moscow region... Oh, listen, and the sub-Moscow land is not so expensive, it turns out!

I work in a large electronics store in Moscow, one of the responsibilities is the settlement of conflict situations (k) client - (m) store, which in one day can accumulate on a weighty post. Well, actually a few examples:



Q: I want to return 6 (six TVs, Carl!)

Q: What is the reason for the return? The marriage? When was the goods purchased?

Q: December 24, 2014, no, they’re all right, I didn’t even open them!

M: Em... Today is June 27, the exchange-return period is 14 days from the date of purchase.

Q: I just waited for prices to rise again to sell them on avito, but that didn’t happen.

M: Thank you for your honesty, but I can’t help you.

K: I knew that you would only divorce people and earn money (the monologue did not end on this, but he would not go through censorship because of 50% of its content)

Tagged: face palm



The second case.

Q: I have a situation, give me a laptop, here’s a check.

M: You have already picked up the equipment, there is a corresponding mark in the check.

Q: I was stolen from my car at the exit of the shopping center!

M: You need to call the police, not us.

Q: You have to have a rule, as in McDonald’s, if you throw away food, you get a new one!

M: "Trying to realize what is happening, stupor" No, unfortunately not!

Tag: censored

I have a childhood friend. We communicate like brother and sister. He never showed any sexual interest in me. I once asked him a hint why. He said I didn’t excite him. He remembers me as a child, and he remembers how I was three or four years old wearing shorts and walking in the shirt in the courtyard, afraid to tell my parents. I did not expect such a serious argument...

Is there an ideal crime? For many years, writers have been thinking about this idea, and murderers too. Some even managed to implement this idea. Take the case of Howard Green in London.



Green was a modest rapist, respected in society. He kept a diary that police found in his own home. In his diary, he analyzed 14 ways of killing his wife, to whom he had a deep secret hatred.



Some of the ways were ridiculous, others bold, one or two really brilliant. But what Green realized immediately was that the main danger to crime was not the ability to investigate facts in the past, but problems that could arise in the future.



Every alibi contains an element of lies that, if you try, can be revealed. Green concluded that the only ideal murder is not that which remains uncovered, but that which is uncovered, but with an unfaithful criminal.



In the end, not he kills her, but she kills him. One day she found his diary and stabbed it with kitchen scissors. The jury, shocked by the reading of the diary, considered the murder as self-defense and admitted the widow innocent.



Why is this an ideal crime?



Recently, it was discovered that the manuscript in the diary did not belong to Howard Green. The diary was written by the lover of his wife, a carpenter of art.

To check the source of money from the unemployed, travelling in Moscow on a expensive car - occupation is unsafe. You will find the source. He (the source) will know about it right away, so where are you going?

Well yes. You want a family - babadura, you need it - you and pull, serve, entertain, once you wanted to.
You don’t want a family – gay, strong, independent, 40 cats, a terrible sky?

Athletically what.

From the dialogue in the Telegram:

Lesia
After training, the neck hurts, after German, the brain, after work, the conscience... the question: how to live?

My friend had a fun story about the cat this morning. When the hostess returned from a business trip, she began to notice that her jewelry was missing from the box. She lived alone and the house was locked. And the woman was already ready to accept that she was "and I went crazy, what annoyance", when she found her jewelry under the pillow. The truth was revealed when the owner struck her cat, which with her nose supported the cover of the box and in her teeth carried cats, and then hid her prey.

The government can replace insurance premiums with a single subscription.

We replace the government with mummies – the benefits are the same, the harm is less.

Real age is the arithmetic average between the age in the shower and the age of the liver.