1st Safaris
2nd License to shoot exotic animals
Three Travel to Rome, Paris, Tokyo
4 is Translation to office. Director of Science
5 is Five-room apartment
6 is Local Dacha
7 is Own car
8 is Moving to Moscow
9 is Acquisition of 2nd Youth

This is the marriage contract, which Alenushka gave to sign Sataniev in the film "Wizards"

Everything in this chat.

In any organization in the world, be it military or civilian, there is a saying: if something goes wrong, goes wrong and doesn't move properly, use WD-40, and if it moves when it doesn't need to - a sticky tape, or scotch. Invented during World War II to wrap shops and boxes with cannons to make them waterproof in the jungle, the tape has since become a must-have element of the set for any task. It was even used to fix the wing on the Apollo 17 lunar rover when it suddenly broke on the lunar surface, as well as to fit rounded CO2 gas washers into square-shaped holes to save the lives of the Apollo 13 crew.

Dick Francis "The Cross Hollow"

My sister finally introduced me to her young man! This is my former lover. I am a guy...

xxx: yesterday with Pasha weighed up and made a willful decision... no longer weigh

About the shit:

The average length of the male member, according to one of the statistical organizations, was 15 centimeters, and according to reports of another - 25 centimeters. The scattering in the results appeared to be due to differences in methods, some were measured, while others were only surveyed. and c)

Are you going to be a cabbage?
Is there red?
There is cabbage and aquarel.

Guys talk openly about girls’ complaints about their big penis.
And no one ever says that a girl complains about a little boy.
Hm This is strange, very strange.)

We sit in the morning of January 1 with a small bunch of survivors, discussing what would be better for us to meet this new year in a dream, or to walk all year without sleeping again.
The ghost of the owner of the apartment slowly floats into the kitchen, hanging on the threshold, dumbly exploring the surroundings. The owner's wife is somehow keenly interested in what, he said, stood up. Further beautiful: he sharply shakes, scratches the tree, shakes the rain, takes the tree, returns, drinks someone’s coffee, gets a note from under the table and peacefully goes into work.

The next day, he explained: in any state of strangulation, sleep and cuddling, heins a set of basic algorithms, in particular: if a woman raises her voice in the presence of a tree - it is time to have a miscarriage.

First of all, we will be the fastest!! I said and bought three bottles of wine at once.

Top commentary to the trailer of the film "5th Wave":

In all films, aliens are attacking America. Maybe they want to save the world from America?

Citruska Peskov: the babies are generally quite mysterious, even if it is judged by itself.

...many just like when a girl like a cat - thick, warm and soft...

Heard at work: Now Anka met, goes and carries a large bag of cakes from the dining room. A nice girl, and on diets does not sit, so hungry with her you will not stay, and stick to very eat for what.

Do you sit on diets?
It happens when the money ends (series "Next")

The dogs,
What do you know about Lego?

by XperiaP59
It hurts to go on.)

Oh, under the bed, five cyborgs found a racial hole.
xxx: tifu, damn android, fancy for five kg in the sense

I go on the street today. It is cold, freezing -30C, to meet me, the bomz is wrapped with a buoy. I stopped at the entrance to smoke, and then he became two meters from me. I asked for a cigarette, I gave him one, he turned in his hands, looked at it, knocked something in his nose and smoked. I, by kindness of mind, gathered forty rubles in my pockets, gave it to him and said, go and buy yourself at least Belomora. He took the money and said, “I smoke Kent, son!”)) Unfortunately, in the darkness, his face was not visible. This is what there is in the city of Vorkuta))) Happy New Year, and all of you good guys!!!)

tayojka: Fuck, on the courtyard on January 1, and the news is as if it was April 1.

This composition of the Blue Light will only stop Death.

The Snow Adventure.

The night. The Metel. The deaf city. An empty taxi enters the station. The tired driver opens the gas tank, turns around to pick up a gun, and suddenly feels someone knocking him on his back. He trembles frightened, turns slowly, and sees that behind his back is a bloated snowman, and beats his head under his shoulder.

Your own mother! The driver is in the heart. Where did it bring you?! to

The Snowman is silent, foolishly smiling and drunk at the wind. The driver takes him for the shirt and goes to the box office.

Take your grandmother, take your grandmother! It will fly! He speaks in the dark window.
What other grandmother? Sleep comes from within.
The inflated! A taxi driver shows a snowman standing next to him.
This is not my grandmother! The operator responds.
Not yours means not yours. The driver says, and the car leaves.
Snowman, rushing to the wind, remains standing in sad loneliness in the middle of an empty gas station.

* * * *
The snow had nothing to do with it. Half an hour ago, he was stunned from the school barrel, where the day before a disorderly storm fixed his pull-up. Thro the day the snowman stood, waving the scroll to the schoolchildren, and at night, when the dwarf rose, crashed from the dwarf and flew. And landed on the nearby gasoline station, scared by his sudden appearance of the midnight taxi driver.

When the taxi left, the abandoned snowman still stood at the box office a little while, as if waiting for the delivery, then another wind pulled him up, lifted him up, and threw him off on the highway, right under the wheels of the passing passenger car. The snowman was hit by a buffer, then the front glass, he flew high to the sky, and disappeared from his eyes in the snow. The girl at the wheel from fear struck the brake pedal into the floor, the car took off, twisted the wolf several times on the icy track, and eventually brought it into the sidewalk bushes. Fortunately, there is no damage to both the driver and the car. For a few seconds the girl sat, recovering, then took the phone, got out of the car, and went back to the scene of the accident. On the way, she called a short number, and when the operator answered, she said:
Hi to you! I just hit a man!
He then named his name and the coordinates of the scene.
Wait to! The operator said, and hanged the phone.
The girl put the phone in her pocket and went to the side in search of the victim. But no matter how much she looked into the empty highway, into the snowy side, she could never find even a hint on the downed pedestrian.

It was not possible to do this, neither the haishniks who arrived soon, nor the ambulances who also arrived on the call. Moreover, a thorough inspection of the almost new car found no traces of impact on it.
Are you sure? At the end of the day, I asked the unfortunate driver.
Do you think I am joking?
Well, is it too little. Maybe you seemed? Sleeping behind the wheel.
I did not sleep! I just don’t know where she came from! She jumped out in front of the car! The girl said and cried. It’s because of stress or because they don’t believe it.
So be calm! Was it a woman?
The girl cried, thought and said.
I am not sure. I thought so. She was in a white coat, you know.

In the meantime, the haishniki helped to push the car out of the cabin, drafted a protocol, and handed it to the girl.
And now what? He asked the.
The hookers shrugged their shoulders.
Well, since the second participant in the incident was not found, there are no claims from our side to you. Take care of the insurance. Please be careful on the road!
An unwanted ambulance left. Gaia’s car has gone. The last, stealing, disappeared from sight a car with a girl driving. Everything fell into the snow again. And the snowman, the unlucky and unidentified culprit of the incident, flew around the surroundings for some time, obeying the winds, and finally landed in the yard of some private house.

* * * *
In the morning, when the butterfly lay down, and the frosty sunshine looked, a tightly wrapped four-year-old carapuse rolled out on the door of the house. Until late in the evening, he and his father were catching the snow. The snowfall was huge, almost with Dad’s growth. They made him a beautiful nose from real carrots, which they asked from a whirling mother, and put a real old cage on the head. And now the baby could not wait to see if anything happened to the snowman overnight. Karapuz slipped from the doorstep, stood for a couple of minutes, tore wide opened eyes into the courtyard, and then shouted "Mommy! “Mommy!” He threw back.

and Mom! Mother!! He cried as he ran into the hallway. The snowman is married!! to
Have you married? My mother asked from the kitchen. Whom did he marry?
On whom, on whom! The child was upset. In the snow naturally.
What other snow? What are you making up, son? Trying to hide his anger, his mother replied.
What am I inventing? Go see yourself!

Destined to breathe, the mother put on her jacket and went out after the baby into the yard. The sight that opened her eyes was worthy of delight. To the strong snow side of yesterday's sneaker, a accurate copy of it was gently pressed. Only smaller growth, and inflatable. Yes, unlike the real snowman, whose face had a harsh masculine expression, the copy happily licked, like the bride on the wedding photo.

Did you not notice anything strange in the yard when you left in the morning? My mom called my dad at work.
“No,” I thought, the father replied. And what happened?
I told you yesterday that you need two snowflakes. Did you say one snowman would be boring?! to
Well she said. and what?
Why do you never listen to me?! to
God, what has happened?! to
- This snowman of yours at night pulled yourself from somewhere inflated grandmother!! to

My father is afraid of Santa. When Santa comes, I can’t find Daddy.

There is an active discussion in the group chat.

xxx what do you think?

xxx: I'm stuck with a little on my hands and, especially without an expert opinion, I try not to trample.)

You sit on the couch.
YYY: He’s not badly stimulating :)